


How many ways can I fall in love?

by Allieoftheshire



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, Short Stories, relationship building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 45,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14278530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allieoftheshire/pseuds/Allieoftheshire
Summary: Varric and Cassandra learn love is never quite so black and white.





	1. Seeker, we're lost

"Seeker, we're lost" 

"We are not. This is starting to look familiar to me."

"That's because we past that tree with the vines twice already. We're going in circles." 

Cassandra quickly scanned the area and realized Varric was right. She mumbled a string of curses so silently that Varric almost missed it. He smirked. She rarely ever lost her composure.

The Emerald Graves was much larger than Cassandra had realized. After getting separated from the rest of their party when three giants had attacked, Varric and Cassandra had been left wandering the graves for what felt like days. In reality, it had truly only been a few hours. 

Varric noticed the frustration on her face. He wasn't sure what annoyed her more, that they were lost or that she had forgotten the way back to the camp. Either way, he figured he better lighten her mood before she took her anger out on anyone around her. And in this case, he was the only one around. "Take it easy, Seeker. It's not so bad. Could be worse."

"Really? Care to elaborate on that?"

"Well…we could be lost in the Western Approach."

Her face relaxed a bit as she pondered that thought and decided Varric was correct. But there was still irritation on her face. It appeared Varric would have to try harder. "And you could be lost with someone other than me of course."

That got a small snicker out of her as she rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Seeker, admit it! Of all our companions, you are lucky you got stranded with me."

"I don't know. I think I'd rather be stranded with someone who was, well, useful for something other than hearing themselves talk."

Varric dramatically placed his hand over his heart. "You wound me, Seeker!"

Cassandra had chuckled that time and Varric grinned. She didn't laugh often and it was rarer for her to laugh for him, but when she did it was nice. Varric felt his stomach jump at the sound. There was no more annoyance on her face. The anger had faded. And while Varric had managed to clear the air of tension, something else was building up instead. Something he knew he should ignore, but very rarely did Varric listen to his sensible side.


	2. What's in a name

"Easy there, Buttercup. Don't wanna break the boss, do you?" Varric laughed as he watched Sera pounce on Lavellan's back catching her by surprise. 

They had made camp after traveling for hours in the Exalted Plains in search of the Dalish camp that their scouts had claimed to see in the area. It was hot and they were running low on supplies. Cassandra suggested they take a short break before continuing on.

While the elves bickered amongst each other, Varric took the time to clean up Bianca while Cassandra took shelter under the shade of a large tree to catch up on some reading. 

"Buttercup, Tiny, Sparkler, Hero…why am I Seeker?" 

She mumbled it so quietly Varric thought she was talking to herself or perhaps thought she was thinking her question rather than speaking it. He laughed

Her face flushed. "Why is that funny?"

"Don't get angry. It's just, someone asked me that same exact question a few years ago." He picked up the cleaning rag and continued polishing the steel on Bianca's handle. 

Cassandra had expected an answer, but Varric didn't give her one. She wondered if he even had an answer for her. She didn't want to admit it, but it bothered her for quite some time. She wondered what the thought process was for Varric's nicknames. Some of them fit a person to the 'T'; Sparkler, Hero, Iron Lady, Curly, Ruffles, Nightingale. Others left her puzzled; Chuckles, Buttercup, Tiny, Kid. But she never received a nickname and it always left her wondering why. 

"Are you not going to answer me?"

"Because Seeker is your name"

"That is not an answer! Everyone else has a nickname, why not me?"

"Believe me, Seeker, you wouldn't have liked the other names I was going to give you. Some of them were not polite in company." Varric replied absent mindedly. 

Ah, so there it was. Varric still harbored resentment towards her. She had thought that things were better between them. She had even forgiven him for lying to her about Hawke and apologized for her actions. While at the time she was too blinded by her rage to see that Varric's actions were completely justified, she had come to her senses and realized her wrong doings. Despite that it seemed Varric still hadn't brought himself to forgive her. And she could not blame him for it either.

Cassandra snapped her book closed and tossed it into her bag, catching Varric's attention with the noise. Varric's chest tightened when he saw the expression on Cassandra's face. He honestly hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, but he hadn't thought about what he said before he said it. "Seeker-"

"It is getting late. We better keep moving." She said strolling past Varric without giving him a passing glance. She approached Sera and the Inquisitor and informed them it was best to move on. 

Varric quickly gathered his things up and followed after her. She had already begun walking ahead of the two elves, who momentarily watched the Seeker storm off. Sera reached for Varric's arm as he tried to walk past them. She wrapped her other arm around his neck pulling him into a loose headlock. "Oooh, you did it now, Dwarfy. She is pissed." She mocked. 

Varric pushed himself free of Sera's grip and hurried to catch up to the Seeker. Cassandra was walking quickly ahead of the group and Varric struggled to catch up. 'Cursed humans and their damn long limbs', he thought as he picked up his pace to try and reach her. 

As he got closer to her, he tried to grab her attention, "Seeker, let me explain."

"You have said all I needed to know."

"You didn't let me finish."

"Let you finish what? Insulting me?"

"I wasn't trying to…Andraste's ass, Cassandra, slow down!" Varric begged as he practically ran to keep up with her.

She stopped suddenly causing Varric to crash into her. Varric stumbled, but Cassandra stood unmoved. She finally turned to face him. Her face was stern silently sending him a warning that he had one shot to make it up to her. "I wasn't trying to insult you. We had a rocky start. Could you expect me to really think anything more of you than some crazed Seeker on a witch hunt?"

Varric saw Cassandra's eyes twitch and he threw his hands up in defense, "Wait, let me finish first. But we spent a few months in each other's company after that. I watched you fight to protect people you cared about and even those who would see your head on a spike for starting this Inquisition. I watched you stand up to others for your beliefs and do what's right even when everyone thought you were crazy. I've seen you charge at dragons, take down demons without so much as breaking a sweat, and stand your ground even when the rest of us were sure we were goners. I'd be out of my mind not to respect the hell out of you. Someone like you doesn’t need a nickname. You have your title. Others may have tarnished what it means to be a Seeker of Truth, but you sure as hell didn't. And that's why you're Seeker." 

At this point Cassandra was left speechless. She thought Varric must be lying to make her feel better, but she had never seen him look so sincere before. Had he truly thought so highly of her all this time? She was blushing, She felt it. But if anyone asked she would blame the heat. 

Before Cassandra could even think to respond, Sera could be heard making obnoxious kissing noises from behind them. It seems the elves had caught up to them. Maker only knew how much they had heard. 

Cassandra snapped out of her thoughts and chose to continue on ignoring the hysterical elf behind her. She continued leading the party on with Varric walking beside her, his pace evenly matching hers. 

Cassandra glanced over at Varric with the corners of her eyes as they walked side by side and noticed the red in his cheeks as well. Perhaps he was affected by the heat of the Exalted Plains too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, when all my Inquisitor and who ever else I bring is always on the brink of death, Cassandra is standing without so much as a dent in her health. Does this happen to anyone else or what?


	3. A Place of my Own

More and more recruits were arriving to Skyhold. Harrit took on many more apprentices to keep up with all the requisitions for armor and weaponry. Josephine was looking into hiring more skilled blacksmiths to assist Harrit in his work, but he insisted that it would only slow him down. 

The real issue he was having was lack of space. The forge was small and cramped. The apprentices were working on top of each other and swords and other weapons were just lying around. It was becoming very hazardous. Harriet had started to make use of the second floor of the forge, using it to store weapons to make the area a bit safe, but things were still very cramped. Plus, he worried that he was bothering the Lady Seeker with all his work and movement. Cassandra reassured him it was fine as she understood the importance of his work.

He made a formal complaint to Josephine about acquiring a larger space for working, but due to the layout of Skyhold, their architects informed them it was likely that they wouldn't be able to move to forge. At best they could expand it, but that could take time. She instead suggested storing the weapons inside the fortress instead. And so they found a rather large unused space for Harrit to use an armory. Still, Josephine was concerned about the working conditions of the blacksmith and his apprentices. Something was to be done. 

"What do you mean I have to leave?" Cassandra complained as Josephine informed her about requiring more space for the smith. 

"They need more room, Cassandra. With the Inquisition growing as rapidly as it is, Harrit and his people are working longer and harder than ever. Moving you to new quarters will allow them more space to work. It is important that our staff is working in comfortable and safe conditions. I am sure you understand."

Cassandra sighed. "But I like my space up here. It is comfortable and as I understand there are no other rooms available in the castle itself. Not that I need a room exactly. I am usually away from the castle."

"We will arrange to have you share quarters with someone else who has enough space to take you in."

Cassandra didn't argue back. "Do as you will. I will gather my things."

"Thank you, Cassandra."

Josephine returned with Leliana shortly afterwards with a look on her face resembled that of fear. As they approached the top of the stairs, Josephine appeared to hide behind Leliana. Leliana folded her hands in front of her. "Cassandra, we realize this is not an ideal situation, but we appreciate your cooperation in this matter." 

"Leliana? Why have you gotten involved?"

"It appears that Josie was unable to find a way to accommodate you other than something that you are probably going to dislike."

The Seeker made an effort to interrupt, but Leliana placed her index finger up to silence her and continued, "As you are aware, we are running rather low on space for all of our soldiers. Many are already sharing quarters with several of their companions. The advisors and inner circle were grant special privileges for private quarters as higher ups in the Inquisition. However, that does not mean so many of us have enough space to house more than one person."

"Get to the point, Leliana."

"You will be sharing a room with Varric."

"WHAT!?"

Josephine flinched from behind Leliana as she already knew where this was going to go. She tried to explain, "He was not my first choice, Lady Cassandra. But there was no one else. The only other people that have space to hold another person was Dorian and the Inquisitor. Dorian refused saying that if he did not have his alone time, he would go mad. And well, the Inquisitor and the Commander seem to be spending some more 'quality' time together more often. It did not seem likely that you would want to be involved in that."

"So tell the Commander to move in with Lavellan and allow me to take his quarters."

"That is not so easy. Cullen works from his quarters and you will be in the way of his work."

"And you, Leliana? Will you not allow me to stay with you?"

"Cassandra, I am already rooming with Josie. We do not have a room for another. If I did, you know I would have gladly taken you in."

"Forget it. I will sleep outside then."

"Don't be unreasonable, Cassandra. Varric has already agreed to let you stay with him." Leliana interfered. 

"He agreed? He was told who it was for correct?"

"Of course!" Josephine exclaimed. "Varric is well aware of the situation. Besides, you have said before, you are rarely at the keep anyway."

"The least you can do is stay at least a week or two to see how it fairs. If you and Varric truly cannot find middle ground, I will seek some other solution myself." Leliana assured her friend. 

This did not make Cassandra any happier, but she nodded her head in defeat. 

\---

Varric's room was well away from the hustle and bustle of the Inquisition's activities. It was so silent in this corridor, it made Cassandra feel unease. She brought with her only a small bag of clothes and her small book collection. Fortunately, Cassandra did not own many possessions, so the move was rather easy. Anything she could not carry herself, Josephine offered to send over later. 

The door to Varric's quarters was open. Waiting for her she assumed. Still, she could not bring herself to step into the room. It felt as though she was unwelcomed. 

From what she could see from where she was standing, Varric's room was rather large and well-furnished and decorated. Bright reds and golds covered the room. There was a large desk pressed against the window covered with ink vials and parchment paper. He had several book shelves all custom made, so the dwarf was able to reach the shelves. Every shelf was filled to capacity with books. Cassandra's curiosity was getting the best of her as she hoped Varric would allow her to read whatever they were. 

Varric was attempting to organize the mess at his desk when he caught the Seeker in his peripherals. He turned to her. "Seeker! They told me you would be my new roommate."

"I apologize for this, Varric. It was not my decision."

"Yeah, what can you do. Bet Ruffles, gave you a hard time huh? She can be one tough cookie when she wants to be."

"Actually it was Leliana. It seems Josephine was too frightened to deal with me herself."

Varric laughed. "Course she was. Well don't just stand there. This is your room now. Make yourself comfortable."

Cassandra slowly stepped into the room. Unsure of where to go from there. Should she place her things on the bed or the floor. Was it inappropriate to sit on his bed? Maker, she was being foolish. She and Varric had shared a tent so many times before. She should not feel so uncomfortable in his room. 

But that was it. It was HIS room. A place he called his own and she was simply intruding on it. She clutched her things closer to her and simply stood in the middle of the room. Varric gave her a questioning look. "You alright, Seeker?"

"I apologize, Varric. You do not need to do this."

"Do what exactly?"

"Offer me your space. We are hardly in a place to-"

"Ok, that's enough of that. Look, Seeker. Sure we're not friends, but we could be. The hostilities are long and over with. And believe it or not I enjoy bickering with you from time to time. So toss your stuff down somewhere and relax. Enjoy your new room cause you'll be here for a while." He gave her a smile and approached her offering to take her things out of her hands.

Cassandra smiled back and placed some of her books in his hands. Varric took a look at her collection "Swords and Shields, Hard in Hightown one AND two, and oh look! A version of Tale of the Champion without a giant hole in it. I'd say your taste in authors is definitely a good place to start this friendship thing."

She laughed, "I hear the author is an ass, but his tales are brilliant."

"Brilliant, huh?"

She simply smiled, no longer feeling as uncomfortable as she did upon arriving. 

\---

A week later, Leliana informed Cassandra that she was able to find her a small room which she could make her own if she wished. Cassandra politely declined. She did not want to leave her new room.

Varric accommodated Cassandra well making sure she was comfortable. He allowed her the bed if she did not feel comfortable sharing, but she insisted it was fine. They spent more time closer together in the wilderness, surely the bed wouldn't bother her.

After only a couple of days together, he allowed her to read from his library. He asked for her input on ideas for upcoming novels. They stood up late telling stories from their past. Cassandra even slept in and awoke to breakfast in bed. He read her stories when she couldn't fall asleep on her own. And when the nights got cold, he would pull her in close to keep her warm. She wouldn't say anything, but he knew she was smiling. In the mornings, he would watch her braid her hair before handing her a cup of her favorite tea and she would kiss his forehead just before heading off to training.

Of course, Cassandra didn't tell Leliana any of that. She just simply responded, "I already have a place of my own."


	4. The Hero of Orlais

The Herald's Rest was lively tonight. While it was always rather loud, the nights when Varric would tell stories tended particularly louder. Cassandra was not known for frequenting the tavern, but she couldn't resist the nights Varric would tell tales. She often sat far enough away hoping he wouldn't know she was there, but close enough where she could hear him clearly. 

It seemed everyone was in the tavern tonight. The Inquisitor sat amongst Bull and his chargers. Sera sat with Blackwall, teasing him about his crush on the Ambassador. Josephine, Cullen, and Leliana sat together, laughing about a story from Josephine and Leliana's past. A refreshing change given that they were usually talking about things work related. Vivienne, Dorian, and Solas sat closest to the door discussing differences in opinions involving magic and the latest fashions. Cole stood up top watching everyone in the tavern from afar. Cassandra sat alone in the furthest, darkest corner of the tavern sipping on a glass of Nevarran red wine.

Maryden suddenly stopped playing and allowed Varric to take the center. "Looks like we've got a full house here tonight!" Varric shouted gathering everyone's attention. The tavern fell silent to the sound of Varric's voice. All eyes were on him now. He took a seat, no books or parchment in his hands this time. Varric usually read from something he had prepared in advance. 

"Tonight, I will tell you a marvelous tale of a young hero and a dragon. The tale of a young warrior who would later go off to change the whole world. Tonight, I will tell you the tale of the Hero of Orlais!"

Cassandra almost spit her wine out. Had he known she would be here? Impossible, she made sure that she snuck in before his arrival and he hadn't known about the other times she would come to the tavern to hear his stories. She glanced around nervously to see if anyone had noticed her presence. It seemed all eyes were fixated on the dwarf in the center of the room. She breathed a breath of relief. No one seemed aware that she was there or if they did see her, they made no move to look at her knowingly. 

She relaxed in her seat. It was highly unlikely that Varric knew the true tale anyone. She was reluctant to tell it and anyone who was there greatly exaggerated the tale. She admired Varric's bravery in going for a story he knew next to nothing about. She was eager to see where this would lead. 

"This story takes place eighteen, no twenty years ago, but others talk about it as if it happened yesterday…" Varric began.

"Unbelievable." Cassandra muttered into her glass. It appeared the dwarf had been ease dropping on her conversation about it with the Inquisitor and decided to use her very words to begin his tale. 

Varric continued on telling the story as though he had truly been with Cassandra every step she took in order to stop the Knight Commander from destroying the Chantry. He spoke of her mentor, the mage who helped her, the battle at the 10 year gathering, all of it as though he was actually there. Cassandra had to admit, she was impressed. She had never heard anyone speak of her actions in entirely truthful. Even more unlikely, the whole truth was coming from the mouth of the very dwarf who praises himself for his ability to exaggerate any tale. 

It was the first time she heard the story and was able to recognize herself. Varric commended her bravery, but he did not lose sense of who she was. He described as a "young, naïve Seeker with the temper of a dragon". Any other time, she would think Varric trying to tease her, but this time she felt as though he was trying to make sure everyone knew it was her that he was talking about. 

As Varric reached the end of his story, telling the final battle between her and the corrupt blood mage, Cassandra pushed herself out of her seat. The chair made a slight screech as she got up, getting Varric's attention. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him from across the room. Varric saw her and grinned completing his tale as she was named Right Hand of the Divine as well as the Hero of Orlais. 

A loud round of applause filled the room as Varric took a bow. He gathered his ale and approached the very Seeker he was talking about. "Hey, Seeker! Enjoyed the story?"

"How did you know all of that? I find it very unlikely that you just got fortunate enough to get almost every detail correct. Unless you were there in Orlais yourself?" 

"Oh I did very through research before deciding this would be the story to tell. It took forever to piece all of the story together, but seeing as how you were impressed, I'd say I did a pretty great job, huh? You should hear some of the nonsense people came up with. It's so exaggerated even I know it's a complete lie." Varric took the seat across from where she was sitting and sipped his ale.  
"Well I could have told you that. And if you wanted to know the story so badly, why not go straight to the source? Why not ask me?"

"Ask you? Seeker, you're so boring you would've made that fantastic tale sound like narrating a recipe!"

"Well, thank you, Varric…" She replied in a venomous tone. 

"That and you never want to talk about it, so I didn't want to bother you about it."

"And so you figured it would be appropriate to tell everyone the story given that I do not like it being told?"

"C'mon, Seeker. It's a great story, you deserve the recognition!" 

She smirked. "I believe that is the first compliment you have ever given me."

"And likely won't be the last. I don't think you realize how incredible you are." Varric quickly responded. 

Cassandra's arms shifted down. She placed her left arm over her right holding it just at the elbow. Her head hung low enough that her hair appeared to cover eyes. Varric smiled. "Well, gotta get going. Plenty of fans to attend to, but not to worry, Seeker, you'll always be my favorite one." He said with a wink before getting up leaving a speechless Cassandra trying to figure out what just happened. Part of her knew that Varric was likely just trying to provoke a reaction out of her, but another part was hoping that perhaps this was leading down a path of more than friendship between her and the dwarf. She doubted that part, but here's to hoping.


	5. Scars

They had made camp near the waters of the Oasis just after defeating a giant patrolling the area. The Inquisitor had gone off with Scout Harding to patrol the area in case any Venatori were around or perhaps other giants. Leaving her three party members there to man the camp. 

Cassandra removed the heavier parts of her armor to clean it of the blood from their fight leaving her in a loose fitted tunic and tight leggings. Varric wonders if the Seeker is aware of how beautiful she is. Sometimes, it was hard to see how feminine she actually was when she was covered in heavy armor and most of the time a helmet, but she was beautiful and this was not the first time Varric found himself staring at her. 

The tunic slipped over her right shouldering baring her shoulder and revealing what appeared to be a severe burn mark. Varric figured perhaps a dragon given her bloodline's trade. She bore so many scars. Varric would see them every once in awhile during moments like this. Some, he was able to figure out were merely from training or something small and would eventually go away. Others he could tell would be there for a lifetime and likely caused her pain when she received the wound.

She rolled up her sleeves as she began scrubbing the blood off of her breast plate. Varric stared at her arms covered in scars. One very recent one which he remembered from about a month ago when she had lost her shield in a fight and used her right arm to block the blade of a Venatori solider hoping her armored glove would be able to absorb the blow. Given how the scar healed, it appeared she had thought wrong and was fortunate the blade did not simply slice her arm off. Varric made a quick mental note to pay closer attention to her position the next time they fought. 

His eyes wandered to the large scar across her jawline. The scar he gave her and regretted. It was in defense he used to tell himself, but he knows that was a lie. He shouldn't have run from her after agreeing to go to Fereldan with her and Nightingale. But he did and she pursued. As she made an attempt to strike him, he revealed a concealed dagger slashing it deep across her face. He would've escaped too had Nightingale not aided her. She had him arrested for assaulting Cassandra. He often wondered how many stitches it took to close that wound, how long before it felt normal for her to talk, how long before it healed. The more he thought about it the guiltier he felt. 

" A scar here, a scar there. Every scar with a story. I wonder if she will tell me about them sometime. You could just ask her to." Cole appeared beside Varric instantly causing him to feel regret at observing the Seeker for so long. The Inquisitor did not often bring the Kid around for missions like this, so he was usually safe with his thoughts at camp. 

"Not now, Kid."

"You should tell her. She has already forgiven you."

"I said not now!" Varric shouted causing Cassandra to stop what she was doing to stare at the two rogues wondering what they were up to. 

"What is going on?" 

"Nothing!" Varric quickly answered causing Cassandra to become suspicious of them. 

"It makes you feel different, self-conscious. You worry it's the first thing people notice about you. He regrets it, but you forgive him. You are a soldier after all." Cole chimes in again. 

It did not take a genius to figure out what Cole was talking about this time. The look on Cassandra's face made it very clear to Varric that she was well aware of what they were discussing. Varric sighed fighting the blood rushing to his cheeks. "I…"

Cassandra traced the scar along her jaw with her index finger. "You think I am still upset about this?"

"Well…" Varric looked for Cole hoping he could make her forget this, but he had already vanished. Of course, he would get him into this mess and then leave him to figure it out himself. 'Thanks a lot, Kid.' Varric thought.

"I am not. Scars are part of my life. They are just a part of who I am."

"The Kid said-"

"Yes, it is my face, so I am a little self-conscious of it as a woman, but I am a soldier. I was not meant to be pretty."

"You still are." Varric replied. What's done, is done. Varric could not think of a way out of this one and usually he was quicker with covering up situations like this. But this was Cassandra he was talking about. He may have been able to successfully trick her before, but that was to protect Hawke. This on the other hand, was an entirely different story.

It was clear Cassandra was taken back by the compliment. She had dropped her rag and stumbled to prevent her breast plate from falling off of her lap. She was at a loss for words and so was Varric.

Varric decided to do the next best thing. He stood up from where he was sitting across from her and walked up to where she was sitting. Even though she was sitting, her head reached just slightly about Varric's as he was standing. He cupped her chin with one hand pulling her lips to his. 

Varric expected her to pull away or jump at the suddenness of the kiss, but she didn’t. To his surprise, she placed her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer to her. This movement caused her breast plate to fall to the floor, but she made no attempt to pick it back up. 

After a few seconds, Varric broke the kiss and traced the line of her scar with his thumb. "I'll always think you're beautiful."

"And I'll always think you annoying, but at least you are charming."

Varric laughed. "Here I am trying to be romantic for you and you ruined the moment."

"This is not the time nor the place, Varric." Cassandra answered. She gathered up her armor and proceeded to her tent. She stopped just before the entry way and turned just her head to him, still keeping her back facing him. "If you wish to continue this conversation at Skyhold, my door will be open." She added just before entering the tent. 

Varric smiled and silently accepted her invitation. 

Cole sat by the water of the Oasis. Smiling as he was glad he could help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra doesn't have the scar in DA2. I always figured she receives it somewhere in that month of travel with Varric and Cullen. Not likely Cullen tried to fight her, so I always thought it was likely from Varric trying to get away.


	6. Flowers

She is not sure what to think when she sees the bouquet laying on her pillow as she enters her room. Sure, she may not have the most private quarters in Skyhold, but most people had the common curtesy not to enter her room without her permission. Especially, not to leave a small but intimate gesture such as leaving flowers on her bed. 

Cassandra approached her bed and reached for the flowers. She had just returned home from a rather excruciating trip to Crestwood and could not be bothered with this right now. She was going to just toss them to the floor when she took a closer look at the flowers. 

Peonies. Her favorite flower and extremely difficult to get during the winter seasons. How in Thedas would someone be able to pull this off? She knew for certain the flowers would not be blooming anywhere near Skyhold or Fereldan for that matter. Someone would have had to pay a lot of gold in order to obtain these flowers for her. 

'Likely some admirer among the nobles.' She thought to herself. She placed the flowers on her nightstand before preparing for bed. She would politely decline should there be another attempt for her attention.

\--------

"Lady Pentaghast?" A messenger approached her with a bouquet of flowers. Peonies to be exact. Only just a few days after she found the first bouquet in her room.

"Yes?" Cassandra addressed the messenger placing her sword back in it's sheath. She wiped her brow with her arm and curiously stared at the messenger. 

" I was told to give these to you." 

"By whom?"

"I am not sure. They were given to me by another messenger. He had no name to give me either."

'Clever' Cassandra thought. Whoever was giving her the flowers was going through great lengths to hide their identity. "Thank you" Cassandra said as she took the flowers and dismissed the messenger. 

She was determined to get to the bottom of this and she knew of only one person who could be of assistance. 

\-------

"What do you mean you will not help?!" Cassandra shouted at the red haired spymaster.

"Cassandra, I do not have the time or the people to spare on your silly quest to find out who your secret admirer is. You are an attractive, young single woman. It could literally be anyone of our people." Leliana answered as she handed a packet of papers to the dwarf sitting across from her. 

Varric accepted the papers and shrugged. "I don't know, Nightingale. In Kirkwall, this psycho blood mage was luring women into a trap using flowers so he could pick their body parts and reanimate his wife. Maybe you should have someone look into this. For the Seeker's sake." 

Cassandra jumped. Varric's story was coming back to her. Her naïve, childish thinking. How foolish was she not to think that this could very well be something dangerous. It was more likely that someone would want to harm her rather than court her. 

"Fine. Varric, you can help Cassandra if you're so concerned about it. I'm sure that is not the case and if I am wrong I am certain you and her can figure it out on your own. Now if you excuse me, I have some work to attend to." She said before promptly leaving the room. 

Varric and Cassandra exchanged a look. Cassandra sighed, "Varric, you do not have to look into this. I am sure it is nothing."

"Not to worry, Seeker. I will find this admirer of yours and be sure to have a talk about his taste in women."�  
"Ugh" Cassandra rolled her eyes regretting coming here in the first place. 

\-------

Another bouquet of flowers. This time in the library on her favorite chair. This was beginning to concern her. Who ever this admirer was had knowledge of what she liked and where she spent time. They could only know this from watching her for a period of time. Unless…unless it was someone she knew. Someone she was close to. 

She thought of the members of her inner circle. The Higher ups: The Inquisitor? No, she had rejected Lavellan's advances fairly recently. Josephine? Not likely. Cullen? No, he often told her she reminded him of his sister. Leliana? If Leliana was interested there would have been no questions about it. 

Then what about her colleagues in arms: Solas? Vivienne? She almost laughed at the thought. It wasn't Dorian as she understood she was not his type. Cole wasn't capable of these feelings being a spirit, but perhaps he was in her head again. Iron Bull, no the Qunari do not do romance. Sera? She was upfront with things. Thom Rainer would not dare to try to court her after revealing his lies. Varric? Not likely.

She picked up the bouquet from the seat and tossed them to the floor. "Ugh, who are you?!" She shouted alerting the attention of Dorian sitting near by.

The mage quickly looked up from his book at the frustrated Seeker. "Darling Cassandra, what ever is the problem?"

"Someone is sending me flowers."

Dorian put his hand over his chest and gasped, "No! How dare they!" 

"It is not funny, Dorian! I do not know who it is. But they seem to know me well. My room, hiding their identity, and now the library? There are no notes, no clues as to who they are other than they must be someone wealthy because these flowers only bloom during the springtime."

"So, someone is showing interest in you. You should be flattered. Isnt this the sort of romantic drivel that you usually enjoy?" 

"Yes....but I do not know who it is."

"You ARE a Seeker of Truth are you not? So, seek them out."

\---------

Dorian was right. There was no reason she couldn't solve this. But she was going to need help. Cassandra hurried down the corridor to Varric's room. She knocked hard on the door.

Varric answered, "Seeker, where's the fire?"

"We need to talk."

"Uh...about?"

"The flowers"

"Oh...look, Seeker, it was nothing."

She was confused. "What was nothing?"

"The flowers?" Now Varric was confused. 

"...It...it was you?" She took a step back. She was truly not expecting that. Let alone a confession.

Varric turned red. "Wait. You didnt know?"

She shook her head but remained silent. 

Varric scratched the back of his head. "Huh...awkward."

They fell silent again both of them staring at the ground. Varric cleared his throat after what seemed like an hour. "So I guess, that's it then."

"What do you mean?"

"You punch me for leading you on this pointless chase and we never speak about this again."

She laughed. "Is that what you think I'm going to do?"

"Uh...yes?"

She laughed again moving herself closer to where Varric stood in the doorway. She bent over and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "I will not. It was sweet. Thank you." And with that she left. 

\-------

Cassandra returned from her training later than usual. She had been distracted with some nonsense from Sera about bears during her practice. 

Normally her training left her feeling less tense, but with Sera poking and prodding every nerve, she felt as though she was going to need much more to calm her down. 

She climbed the stairs to her quarters and sighed heavily as she reached the top. Once at the top, she tossed her shield in the corner and untied her sword from her waist. She tossed her gloves onto the chest by her window. She picked up the book that was laying on top of the chest and made her way to the bed. 

She smiled as she approached the bed. A larger bouquet sat resting on her pillow. She picked it up and laid on her bed resting the flowers beside her. She plucked one loose from the bouquet and twirled it between her fingers as she picked up where she left of in the latest chapter of Swords and Shields almost completely forgetting the tension she felt only moments ago.


	7. You need me

"Have you been to the valley lately, Seeker? You need me." The dwarf says with a wink in the most conniving voice possible. 

She grimaced knowing he was right. They could most definitely use the dwarf's skills in this situation. With demons hitting them from every direction, she could use all the help she could get. But would that mean Varric remaining with them for the Inquisition?

She knew it was Divine Justina's intention to recruit Varric in hopes that Hawke would follow suit, but Cassandra could only tolerate the dwarf so much. He pressed every last nerve she had just for fun, provoked her for a reaction, and worse of all, despite everything, she could not help falling for his charm. Of course, Cassandra would never admit that out loud and she hated herself for even thinking it, but it was the undeniable truth. She wasn't sure what it was about Varric. He simply had a charisma about him. One she found very attractive much to her dismay. 

Ignoring the thoughts in her head, she pressed on through the valley taking her band of prisoners with her. 

\-----

"Fool, what were you thinking!" Cassandra shouted as she yanked the final piece of an arrow embedded in Varric's arm. 

Varric winced from the pain and cradled the arm as Cassandra rummaged for bandages. "I was thinking an angry Red Templar was about to bash your head in with a shield." 

"You could've told me he was behind me! Not try to go head to head with him with only your crossbow as a shield! You could have been killed!"

They had been arguing over a stealth mission on wrong. Cullen had leads on red lyrium smugglers in the Emerald Graves and so the Inquisitor sought them out taking with her Cassandra, Varric, and Sera. Unfortunately, a Great Bear caught them by surprise and alerted the Red Templar camp to their position. Cassandra took on most of the brutes herself keeping them away from her range companions as best as she could, but she was unaware of the soldier who had gotten behind her. 

Varric noticed and took action using Bianca to shield the Seeker from the Templar's attack. But since he was using his only weapon as a defense, he was left wide open to attack. A Red Templar Archer took advantage of the situation striking Varric's arm. 

Cassandra was now alerted to their situation and took over the fight with the soldier, slaying him while Sera took out the archer. Lavellan had got Varric off the field as Cassandra and Sera took care of the remaining few. 

Once the battle had ceased, Cassandra was furious at Varric's tactics. 

"Face it, Seeker, you needed me. You would've been killed had he hit you." Varric answered as Cassandra completed wrapping the bandages around his wound. She was relieved it was not much worse, but still angry that he had approached the situation the way he did. 

Still, she huffed in defeat. Arguing now was pointless, especially since Varric would need to rest. But she would not simply let him off the hook for this. They would most certainly resume this argument at a later time.

\-----

"You need me, Seeker?" Varric smirked trying his hardest to avoid bursting out laughing He held out a hand to her to help pull her out of the sandy ditch she just fell into. 

Cassandra refused it. She stood up and dusted the sand off of her armor as best she could. It was humiliating enough to have fallen into the ditch in the first place, let alone having to rely on Varric to help her back out. 

She hated this place. The baron wasteland that was the Hissing Waste. Just miles and miles of sand and sand ditches to which she had been pretty good at avoiding until this point. 

Cassandra reached for a stone sticking out of the sand that appeared to be sturdy enough to hold her weight. She was sadly mistaken when it snapped sending her back into the ditch. 

Varric quickly snatched her arm before she fell back in and pulled her out of the sand ditch. She collapsed into his chest as he pulled her out. Cassandra grew uncomfortable as she realized how close they were. Her gloves hands gripping the sides of the "V" of his shirt. Faces close enough to...

"You ok?" Varric asked when she didn't seem to move or say anything. 

Cassandra snapped back into reality and released Varric. She stood up from the sand, brushing herself off for a second time. "Yes, let's catch up to the inquisitor. "She quickly walked ahead of him to avoid him seeing the bright red that she was sure was staining her cheeks. 

\-----

Cassandra was a mess. She could not believe what had occurred at Caer Oswin. She could not believe the Seekers, her family were gone. No she refused to believe it. Not without proof. 

But that did not stop the heart ache she felt. The pain of losing her apprentice. The betrayal of Lucas. It was all too much for her to keep in.

She numbed herself on the road back to Skyhold. She avoided the pestering from the Inquisitor, ensuring Lavellan that she was alright. Ignored the looks of sympathy that Bull and Dorian were giving her. But here now, alone in her room, she felt the weight crushing her. 

She felt the tears streaming down the sides of her cheeks as she began to really process what had happened. She wept silently mourning the loss of her fallen comrades. She felt ashamed that she couldn't have done more for them. She wondered if the same fate would've fallen on her had she not left the order or if she could have somehow prevented it. 

She heard footsteps approaching the loft. She quickly wiped the tears off of her face and attempted stop the hiccuping from the crying. 

"Seeker?"

"Yes, Varric. I am fine." She had started to automatically state that as she had been asked so many times how she was feeling. 

"Oh, that's good. It's a lie though, but good lie to hear. Thought you Seekers were supposed to tell the truth all the time or you would be struck down by the Maker or something." He had stopped just before reaching the loft to respect her privacy. 

She didnt know what to say. Everyone was apologizing for her loss, looking at her with pity, and here he was acting as though everything was fine. It was refreshing. It was a relief really to know that he could comfort her with jokes. 

Varric was now standing at the top of her stairs. He could see her in the candlelight. The redness in her eyes and the makeup streaks on her cheeks. Her hair was disheveled and she slouched as opposed to her usual confident posture. She still wore her armor covered in dried blood. She didn't look ok at all. But Varric did not want to intrude when he shouldn't. "So, if you're ok then, I'll just leave."

Leave? For some reason the thought of him leaving her made the tears weld up in her eyes again. Wasn't that what she wanted? To be left alone? She even cast Leliana away so she could be by herself. But Varric always seemed to be there when she needed him most. He always knew she needed him, even when she herself didn't. "No, wait." Her voice cracked. "Please dont leave. I need you."

The sound of her broken voice startled Varric. He had never thought she could be broken the way she looked now, but he didnt say anything. He made his way to where she sat on her bed. He put his arms her and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder. Despite her allowing him to comfort her, she hid the sound of her weeping. He knew she was crying, he felt her shaking, but he continued to remain silent. All that mattered was she needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love DA:I, but I feel like some scenes weren't emotional enough. Cassandra lost what she stated was her family, but there is nothing about her feeling the loss. Same with if Clan Lavellan is killed in that War Table mission. Nothing about it. Inquistor just goes on like it never happened. Cant complain too much though, cause some scenes are packed with emotion. Dorian and his father, Blackwall's confession, Cullen's addiction and PTSD, Bull's subtle but emotional reaction to losing the chargers(I never chose this, but I've watched it), etc. But still nothing from Cassandra on losing her family? Hmmm


	8. Love of all things sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra is the cutest and most definitely the love of my life.

"What is it, Cole? Why the odd looks?

"Light pastry with blueberries, sticky on your fingers. Small hands reaching as Anthony tears his in half. But when you went to the kitchen, they were all gone." 

"Ah yes. They are delicious, but do not last long."

"I could get you one. The cooks don't see me."

"Just because they don't see you doesn't mean it isn't theft."

 

\-----

Varric watches her lick the sticky sugar off of her fingers as she finishes one the pastries on her plate from beside her. She quickly moves to grab the next one without taking her eyes off of the pages of her book. He noticed she tries not to stuff the whole pastry in her mouth as she ate it at the dining table. He found it adorable how she tried not to look so eager to eat it, failing miserably in doing so. 

Cassandra was a mystery to him. A woman as tough as nails, strong enough to do hand to hand combat with the Iron Bull, made Darkspawn run at the very sight of her and here she sat with crumbs all over her mouth as she turned the pages of her book with sticky fingers. A woman who used to terrify him until he learned she loved romance novels and sweet treats. 

Well, she still terrified him somewhat, but now he also thought she was really cute. A word Varric never in his life thought he would use to describe the Seeker and yet it was so fitting. 

Cassandra's head suddenly jerked up from the book she was reading as she felt the dwarf's eyes on her. When she looked his way he simply grinned "Enjoying your treat, Seeker?"

"I…yes I am." She replied wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her tunic. Her cheeks a light shade of pink as she realized how she must look. "I don't usually get a chance to get one. They are usually gone by the time I can find the time to get to the kitchens."

Varric simply smirked. It hadn't been by chance their resident Seeker had just been fortunate enough to obtain her favorite pastry three days in a row. He really had to thank the Kid. If he hadn't brought it up on their last trip to the Hinderlands, he probably would've never known. 

Varric hadn't really planned on having to wake up early enough to pay the kitchen staff to save a few pastries on the side for the Seeker more than once, but after seeing her eyes light up the first time, he couldn't stop. 

"Oh? I've seen you snacking on them for the past couple days now."

"Yes. It seems I have been rather lucky as of late. I hope Cole is not involved. I had told him not to." She chuckled. "Though if I keep getting this lucky, I'm going to have to train harder to rid myself all the weight gain."

"Eh, I dont think you'll have too much to worry about that with the Inqusitior having us run around all the time."

She smiled as she finished the last pastry. Her smile quickly faded as she realized they were gone. She sighed and closed her book. "I must be going now. Cullen has asked me to assist with some planning for heading to the Arbor Wilds."

"Wait, Seeker. You have some blueberry on the side of your face." Varric informed her just as she pushed back her chair to stand up. 

She reached up with the side of her tunic to wipe her face. After she was sure she must of gotten it, she gave Varric a questioning look. Varric shook his head. "Nope. Still there. Here, let me help." 

Varric reached over to grab the side of her face with his left hand moving her face to the left. He rubbed the right side of her face with his right thumb just above her scar. After a few seconds, he moved his face to hers planting a soft kiss to her cheek. 

As he pulled away, he smiled at her shocked expression and the bright red building up in her cheeks. "There ya go. I think I got it." 

Before she could say anything, Varric pushed himself up from his chair. "I'll see ya later, Seeker." He said to her as headed to the entrance to the main hall. 

He may have been short some coin and the Seeker may still reject going any further with him, but as he remembered how happy she was the first time he saw her get her pastry, it was all completely worth it.


	9. Nightingale

When Varric had received a message from Leliana requesting to see him in the rookery, his heart stopped. He began pondering everything he may have done recently that may have set her on edge. If he was being honest with himself, he would have to say he has become a rather model citizen since joining the Inquisition. Aside from occasionally exchanging pranks with Sera, he had avoided generally staying out trouble of the illegal sort. 

Maybe he was overthinking. Leliana may want nothing more than help involving her spies. Perhaps advice from another spymaster? But what could Varric tell her that she didn't already know?

He slowly crept up the stairs to the rookery, hoping that she wouldn't be there when he reached the top. Much to his dismay, there she was reading updates from her scouts. 

"Varric, please have a seat." She said not even looking up from her letters. 

Varric gulped. The fact that she had heard him coming even though he didn't hear his own footsteps terrified him. He did his best to ignore the uneasy feeling building up inside of him. 

"Nightingale! Got your message." He started as he approached the table. He pulled up a chair and leaned his elbows on the table folding his hands together. "Something I can help you with?" He continued with a charming smile. 

Leliana nearly folded her documents together and placed them to the side. She reached for a glass and the bottle of wine beside them and began to pour the dry red wine into the glass. She held it out to Varric. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you." Varric quickly refused. While he was sure the alcohol would ease his nerves, he wasn't taking the chance that it may be poisoned. He was sure it was unlikely she would try to poison him, but that wasn't a chance he was willing to take. 

Leliana sipped the wine from the glass she had offered Varric. He wasn't to sure if she was hinting to him that it wasn't poison or she was just genuinely drinking a glass of wine. With her, one could never be too careful. She was Orlesian after all. 

She placed the glass down and slid her finger around the rim of the glass. "Very well then. I suppose I should answer your previous question. No there is nothing I need."

"Uh...so why did you ask to see me then? If you don't mind my asking."

"You have been spending an awful amount of time with Cassandra as of late."

Varric felt his whole body freeze. This whole thing was about the Seeker? She had to be out of her mind. Anyone with a brain could see that him and Cassandra barely got along. While things were no longer as hostile as they were before, they certainly weren't anywhere near a romantic relationship. 

Varric chuckled before bursting out in full laughter. "C'mon, Nightingale. You can't seriously think something is going on between me and Cassandra. Do I have to remind you that not too long ago she threw a table at me?"

Leliana remained unamused and simply took another sip of her wine. "There are rumors to say the least. You have wrote a book for her."

"Yeah that one is true, but only cause the Inquisitor asked! I wouldn't have even known she liked my books otherwise."

"And have you been visiting her quarters recently?"

"She was feeling upset about the loss of the Seekers. I wanted to make sure she was alright. And it hasn't been that often! Twice at most" Varric lied on that one. He knew it had been a few times that he visited her room. It started as making sure was alright. Losing all the people that you considered family was hard, he didn't even want to imagine how that felt. But if he knew anything from spending time with Hawke when she lost her mother, it was that good conversation and food was the fastest way to ease a broken heart.

And so he began visiting her twice a week to meet her for breakfast or lunch. Of course he could've just met her in the Hall to avoid stupid rumors about him going to her room so often. But he enjoyed their stroll there together. 

"And I am supposed to believe that it is just coincidence that you go to the Hearld's Rest at just the same time that Cassandra is training?"

"Oh come on. There isn't even any concrete proof on that one." Varric countered back. 

Leliana sat back in here chair still not convinced despite the dwarf's constant denial. 

Varric couldn't believe this was why Leliana had ask to speak with him. He was well aware of the rumors going around about him and Cassandra, but he didn't think Leliana would care about rumors like that. At one point there were even rumors about Cullen and Cassandra, which proved false as soon as it was out that the Commander was courting the Inquisitor. 

"Look, if you don't believe me, why don't you just ask Cassandra yourself. I mean she might punch you for even insinuating that these rumors might be true, but you can handle it I'm sure."

"You think you are only here about some rumors? Varric, I am well aware of all matters that happen in Skyhold, especially those that involve my dear friends. Rumors aside, I see how you look at her when she walks by. I noticed she sits with you during her lunch and you teach her to play cards or tell her stories that make her laugh. I also know you invited her to join you and Bull for drinks and she accepted, something she has never even done for me. Perhaps this is not a one sided infatuation, if you understand what I am saying." 

The more Leliana revealed about his time spent with Cassandra, the more he was realizing that he may have fallen for the Seeker without him even realizing it. He hadn't considered it a possibility until now. How many people actually fall for someone without knowing they were doing it? Varric was willing to bet not many. 

But then again, he was usually oblivious about matters of the heart. Look how long it took for him to realize that he wasted too much time hoping Bianca would come back to him. Part of him was grateful for what happened at Valamaar, despite how shitty the situation felt. But if it hadn't happened, Varric didn't think he'd ever move past Bianca. It was the Seeker who informed him that he deserved better than someone like Bianca and had been the reason he decided to officially end thinks with the dwarf he had longed for so long. 

"I'm sorry are you implying that you want me to ask the Seeker out?"

"I'm not implying anything. I am telling you that you should."

"That's insane."

"You care for her, do you not? Then why is it such a bizarre thought that she may care for you too?" 

He wanted to say it absolutely was, but he remembered what she said earlier. If she spoke the truth, then it was possible that Cassandra enjoyed their time together as much as he did. 

"Have you spoken to her? Did she say something about any of this?"

"No. Cassandra is a romantic in every sense of the word. She would want you to make the first move. And so I sought you out first."

"So you want me to just walk up to the Seeker and ask to take her out for a romantic evening just based on the speculation that she feels the same way as I do for her?"

Leliana laughed as she picked up her wine glass. After the laughing subside, she took a sip of wine still smiling into the glass. "You just admitted it."

Varric's face flushed. He did just admit it didn't he. To the person Cassandra is closest to none the less and for the first time to himself. He did have feelings for the Seeker. Whether it was love, it was still too soon to say. But infatuation definitely. He admired her, her strength, her determination, her loyalty. And while she was not the standard definition of beauty, he found her unique features very attractive. Sharp cheekbones, narrow eyes, short spiky hair, caramel colored skin. 

It was at this point Varric had decided he needed a drink. He reached for the second glass across the table and poured himself a glass of the wine Leliana had brought. Leliana had a grin plastered to her face as she watched Varric practically drink the whole glass in a single gulp. 

"I realize discovering this about yourself must be rather shocking, but I am far more concerned what this means for Cassandra."

"Honestly, Nightingale, I'm not sure."

"You will think about it won't you? It would mean a great deal to Cassandra."

"There's a lot to think about. Like whether or not we are actually compatible given our history. And what's gonna happen after the inquisition? We both have our own goals which go in completely different directions. Hell, she might even become Divine! Then it would've all been a waste of time." Varric replied running his hand through his hair. 

Leliana folded her hands on the table. "I know it is, but I am a true believer of love conquers all. It is why I can hope I will see the Hero of Fereldan, my love, again once this is over. It is a lot, I know. But do you not think she is worth it? Please at least consider."

"Why does any of this matter to you anyway? I know you and her are friends and all, but meddling in each other's love lives doesn't seem like something the Hands of the Divine should be investing their time in."

"Cassandra armors her heart so strongly for fear of being hurt. She has lost so much, I fear it will make her cold. I've been down that path before Justina showed me a way out. I do not wish to see her walk the same path. If I can find a way to keep her in the light than I will." She said as she pushed herself up from the chair. 

Well how the hell was he supposed to tell her to forget about it after that? Leliana may believe that love conquers all, but he was far too much of a realist to know that that was rarely ever true. And when love didn't conquer, it tore you apart piece by piece. He learned that quite recently after Bianca had shown up. And now he wasn't sure if he could work up the nerve to talk to the Seeker about their relationship. To risk falling in love with her, just to see her leave him because there really was no other choice or worse to see her have to give up on love because of her faith and devotion to the Chantry. But he felt like Leliana wasn't giving him much of a choice. "I'll think about it."

"Excellent. Thank you, Varric. It's been a pleasure talking with you" 

Varric sighed as he pushed himself up from the seat. "Yeah. You too." He mumbled before heading to the stairs of the rookery. 

"Oh, Varric?" Leliana called to him before he started walking down. 

He looked at the Inquisitions spymaster as she smiled at him. An eerie smile, which he assumed was meant to intimidate. "If you hurt her, I will hurt you far worse." 

He simply nodded as he headed down the stairs, now regretting even thinking about starting a relationship with Cassandra. 

\-----

Leliana was already lying in her bed reading when Cassandra had burst into her room shutting the door behind her. She approached the Spymaster's beside in a quick pace. 

Cassandra wasn't angry. No there was a hint of a smile on her face as she approached. "I asked you not to pry." She said as she took a seat beside Leliana on the bed slapping her arm in a playful manner. 

Leliana closed her book and tossed it at Cassandra. "I didn't pry. I simply encouraged."

"That is prying!" Cassandra laughed as she tossed the book back at her. 

Leliana laughed along with her placing the book at her side. She smiled at her friend. "It was merly a nudge. Did it pay off?"

"Yes. Thank you, Leliana."

"Of course. I am always here for you if you need me, my friend." Leliana reached her arms around Cassandra's neck pulling her in for a hug

"Yes. And I now know that even when I do not need you, you will be there." She smiled hugging her back. 

Leliana chuckled. "Don't you have a dwarf that you would rather be spending the night with?"

The Seeker rolled her eyes and pushed Leliana into the mattress before heading back to the door. "Remind me never to confide in you again."

" Please. Had I not interfered, you two would have just continued the longing looks and pining over each other until you died. There would be regrets about it later on. And besides, I would find out eventually. Little birds an all."

Cassandra smiled back at the Spymaster. She opened the door to the room. "I'm sure. Goodnight, Leliana."

"Goodnight, Cassandra. Say hello to Varric for me!"

Cassandra made a disgusted noise as she closed the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Leliana and Cassandra have a secret BFF relationship. You know, the kind to talk about their crushes and stay awake all night during sleep overs until they find everything hilarious because they are so tired.


	10. Into the Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Character death warning. Something that Inquisition lacked that was in the first game, was the ability to lose your companions. Not saying I ever enjoyed or chose that option, but there was no real risk to losing the characters with wrong choices and gotta say I missed that thrill.

Everyone cheered when the Inquisitor walked out of the rift. Her party close behind as she sealed the rift, stopping the demons in their tracks. At first, it seemed a strong victory. Everyone believed that they had won. So why was the Inquisitor in tears on the cold stone floor of Adamant Fortress? 

Varric didn't immediately noticed what was wrong until he looked at the members of her party. He looked to Hawke for reassurance that everything was fine, but she hung her head low as she attempted to console the Inquisitor. Varric had heard what happened to Lavellan and her team. Sure that shit would've had him freaked out too, but to have a breakdown on the battlefield? What had happened in there?

Six of them walked into the Fade. Lavellan's team. The Inquisitor, Vivienne, Solas, Stroud, Hawke and…wait…where was Cassandra?

Varric felt his heart stop as he watch Hawke tried to get Lavellan to stand up to address the Wardens. He hoped someone would tell him Cassandra hadn't fallen into the rift too. That she had gotten away before they went in. 

Stroud took the center as the Inquisitor was in no shape to speak to the Wardens. He announced that the Inquisitor would allow the Wardens to continue fighting with the Inquisition in hopes they can redeem themselves. He informed them that he would restore order to the Grey Wardens and bring them back to the glory that they once had.

Varric didn't care about that. There was a party member missing. Didn't anyone else notice? "Where's the Seeker?"

Stroud's eyes filled with sorrow and he sunken his head down. That look was all Varric needed to know he was not going to like what he heard next. "Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast fell striking the blow to a demon blocking our way out. Without her, none of us would be standing here right now."

There were gasp and cries heard from the crowd. The soldiers were in a state of shock. A quick change of heart considering the major victory they had just won. Varric was still trying to process what he just heard. The Seeker. Dead. Cassandra was dead.

When they returned to Skyhold, no one cheered. There would be no celebration of their victory at Adamant. Word of the loss of the Seeker had already made its way to Skyhold. Leliana was nowhere to be seen. Likely Grieving the loss of her friend in silence. Cullen held Josephine as she sobbed in the courtyard hoping it had all been a cruel joke. Sera punched Bull as he told her what had happened. Repeatedly saying it wasn't true as though that would change things. Cole comforted Lavellan trying to assure her that it wasn't her fault. Solas and Blackwall looked hurt, but hid their pain better than the others. Vivienne even put aside her differences with Dorian and consoled him as he sobbed. 

Varric looked at the training dummies. Probably the only residents of Skyhold that were relieved by this news as it was unlikely they would ever be struck again. There were already bouquets of flowers placed there in her memory from some of the residents of Skyhold. 

He wondered if the Seeker knew how much everyone cared about her. If she knew how much her death would affect people. He scoffed. She'd probably explain why she didn't matter and how she would rather everyone forget her in order to get things done. 

Things wouldn't be the same. The Inquisitor would have to bring someone new with them. Varric would have to learn how to shadow Bull or Blackwall. He knew Cassandra's movements. He knew how to protect her in a fight. Despite how much they argued, Cassandra always knew Varric would have her back. And the complimented each other so well on the battlefield, it was almost synchronized. 

He would no longer bicker with her over things that didn't matter, just to see her flustered. He wouldn't be able to tease her about her poor taste in books. He wouldn't see the light in her eyes as she talked about things she was passionate about or how she would subconsciously twirl her braid in her fingers while reading. He would no longer be able to tell her stories or listen to her criticize them when she didn't like the ending. She'd insist that he change it. He would never get the chance to tell her how he felt about her. He wondered if she knew he would miss her this much. If she knew how much she meant to him. 

Lavellan made her judgement on Erimond. Tranquility. It was the first time everyone in the inner circle agreed with the punishment chosen. Even Solas, who was strictly opposed to the right, believing it to be cruel and unnecessary. 

That night, there was a vigil for the Seeker. A final goodbye. It was really quite the ceremony. Everyone was there at the service led by Mother Giselle. Varric was sure Cassandra would hate the attention, but it was nice that everyone had truly appreciated how much she had done. 

The Left Hand of the Divine approached Varric after the ceremony. "She was a good woman with a virtuous heart."

"Yep" was all he managed to say. He throat closed up as he tried to keep himself from crying. 

Leliana held out a book to him. The tale of the champion. The very one she had stabbed when they first met. Varric took the book from her and ran his fingers over the puncture from the knife. "I think she would want you to have it. She cared for you, you know?"

"What?"

"I know it doesn't matter now, but I thought you should know. Despite everything, Cassandra valued your friendship. I know you did as well." She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "She will be missed."

As Leliana left, Varric held the book close to him as he tried to process what Leliana had said. As he realized all hopes of building a relationship with the Seeker were severed, he felt the tears fall down the sides of his face.

She was gone. This was real. She was gone...and he never got to say goodbye.


	11. Cherries

The summer months seemed to come rather quickly. Though it rarely ever felt like it was truly summer in Fereldan, the weather still felt slightly warmer. To those not accustom to the freezing temperatures of Fereldan, the change was quite welcoming. Coming from Par Vollen, The Iron Bull was quite custom to fruits and foods that were found in the warmer climates there and of Rivain. Fruits such as cherries, which were his absolute favorite. 

Unfortunately, it was impossible for the farmers of Fereldan to grow cherries in their fields. The soil was not right and the temperature far too cold. However, Varric, of course, was well versed in importing goods from faraway places and was happy to assist Bull in acquiring cherries to beat his craving. 

It took only a couple of days for Varric to reach a contact of his and a few weeks to hear that the goods were imported into the ports of Redcliffe Village. A quick trip there and the Bull's craving would have been conquered. Bull made a quick plea to the Inquisitor, who duly noted that she had never wanted to set foot in the Hinderlands again. But after much begging and insisting it would be worth it, Lavellan caved and gathered a group to travel with them for Redcliffe Village. Varric had to be present to sign for the payment of the goods, Bull was to come as it was a personal request for himself, and Cassandra for back up naturally. 

It didn’t take too long for them to reach Redcliffe Village. A couple of weeks at max. As many times as they had to journey through the Hinderlands made them all very familiar with the layouts of the lands as well as the shortcuts. Fortunate, as the land was very large and one could easily spend hours coursing their way through. 

The Iron Bull eagerly stood beside Varric as he signed the retrieval of the goods from the captain of the ship. Cassandra scoffed annoyed that she had been dragged on this trip for such a ridiculous reason. The world was going to shit, but Maker forbid the Iron Bull went without some silly luxuries of his homeland. Though if she was being honest with herself, which she wasn't, she could understand. Sometimes she wished for some of the luxuries of her own homeland from time to time. The food in Fereldan severally lacked in flavor and she often wondered how hard it would be to acquire spices from Neverra. She would probably kill for some chili powder. Perhaps Varric would be able to…no. She quickly shook the thought out her head. There was no telling if the dwarf actually acquired any of his import legally. She would not allow herself any part of that no matter how much she yearned for good tasting food. She's survived this long without it after all. 

The Seeker watched with her arms crossed over her chest as Bull lifted a rather large bag of what she assumed were the fruits he so desperately needed to have. His eyes lit up with delight as he thanked Varric and the captain before returning to her and the Inquisitor. Varric bid his goodbye and strolled back over shortly afterwards.

"Are we done here?" Cassandra asked making her annoyance visible. 

"What's the matter, Seeker? Got somewhere to be?" Varric snapped back. 

"Some of us have actual jobs with the Inquisition, Varric."

"And yet, here you are. With the rest of us."

"Ugh!" Cassandra rolled her eyes looking to the Inquisitor to tell him something. Much to her annoyance, Lavellan simply shrugged. Realizing she was getting nowhere in this argument, she simply marched ahead to lead them back to their camp. Varric smiled at Lavellan as the Seeker led the way. Something very satisfying in knowing that Lavellan sided with him over Cassandra, a woman who she valued a great deal as a friend. 

Back at the camp, Bull sat happily munching away at his cherries in front of the fire pit. A large pile of seeds and stems sat beside him. Varric sat nearby scribbling down notes on parchment paper. He liked to write down little facts and fun bits about the inner circle when he learned of them. Sera hated raisins, Blackwall was a carpenter, the Iron Bull enjoyed cherries, Cassandra enjoyed smutty romance fiction. It was quite the collection. Nothing like the dirt he had on his friends in Kirkwall, but still nice to remember these scary people of the Inquisition weren't so different from him and the nobodies back home. 

The Iron Bull handed Varric a fistful of cherries insisting he try some. Varric held out both hands to grab the cherries as Bull's one hand was much larger than his two and that was saying something. He plucked off the stem and plopped one in his mouth making a strange face. They were more sour than he was expecting. They weren't too bad once you got past the sourness, Varric thought he'd only eat a couple more just to be on the safe side. 

"You know what they say, Varric. If you can tie a knot into a cherry stem with your tongue, it means you're a good kisser." Bull informed him as he bit a pair of cherries off of the stem. 

"Hope this isn't you trying to flirt with me, Tiny." Varric replied not looking up from his writing. He spit out the seed from the cherry he just had. 

Bull laughed. "No, no. Dwarves aren't really my thing. Too small for me. Always afraid I'd break one."

"Right. You prefer Tevinter mages."

Iron Bull cleared his throat. "Anyway as I was saying. You just put the stem in your mouth and if you pull it out in your mouth with a knot in it, then you're a good kisser."

"Look, Tiny, I don't need a cherry stem to tell me what i already know."

"Care to put your coin where your mouth is?"

"Alright. Two silvers that it's not that hard." Varric replied. He plucked a stem from one of the cherries in his hand and placed it in his mouth. As he began to try and accomplish the task at hand, he realized he may have made a mistake. 

Iron Bull watched with a grin as the dwarf struggled to accomplish the task. The look in Varric's face made it quite clear that he had just won the bet. Not being one to give in so easily, Varric continued to try until the stem was quite withered down by the saliva. 

After a few moments, Varric thought he had done it, but when he took it out of his mouth, it was just slightly more crooked with no knot. He sighed with disappointment. "Your shitting me, aren't you? This isn't something that's actually possible, is it?"

"Oh I assure you, it's quite possible." Bull answered.

Cassandra and Lavellan had been nearby. Lavellan had decided on becoming a Knight-Enchanter, but was in serious need of training before she could wield even a spirit blade. The Seeker offered to train her how to wield a sword, but was worried about Lavellan being able to properly defend herself without a shield. The Inquisitor lacked a lot of combat skill. She was barely skilled in magic for a mage and it worried Cassandra every time they went into a fight. Still, she had come such a long way.

The Seeker had just been in the middle of a lecture on how to use your blade to shield you from an attack when her eye caught Bull waving over to her. "Seeker!"

"What is it? I am busy."

"When aren’t you?" Varric muttered to himself quietly so she didn’t hear him.

The Iron Bull chuckled. "It'll just take a second. Need some help settling a bet."

Cassandra sighed and sheathed her sword. Lavellan, however,was quite grateful for the break and went off to grab some water before the Seeker returned to knock her on her ass again. 

"Bull, I do not have-" She started as she made her way to the fire pit. 

"Just a second. I promise"

Cassandra sighed. She stood between Varric and Bull with her arms crossed. It seems that trivialities of the inner circle were endless. First cherries, now bets? This was most certainly not the group of people she was expecting when she sought to begin the Inquisition. Still, they were very skilled. And for what it was worth, they were loyal to the Inquisition despite all their differences. Perhaps she should learn to judge what they chose to do in their down time less. She had her own quirks, did she not? "What is this bet?"

Bull held out the cherry stem to her. "Can you tie this in a knot using only your mouth?"

"Truly? That's it?"

"Yep." He replied. It was probably best not to tell her the whole meaning behind the task. She would probably refuse to take part in their bet if he had. 

She shrugged. If that was all it was, she could spare some time to indulge them. The Inquisitor had seemed to be in need of the break anyway. Cassandra took the stem from Bull's hand and placed it on the tip of her tongue. 

Varric couldn't believe the Iron Bull had tricked the Seeker into doing this just to prove a point. He wasn't worried though  
It was unlikely Cassandra could pull it off anyway. Not only was he was sure Bull was pulling a fast one on him, there was no way the Seeker could be a good kisser. 

Varric sat back with a smirk across his face and watch the Seeker make the same facial expressions he had made just moments before. However, after only a few seconds, she had accomplished the task and pulled out the stem revealing a small knot leaving Bull laughing hard and Varric unbelievably speechless. 

Cassandra suddlenly felt flustered being in between this bet. It was a simple enough task. She failed to understand the humor behind it."What was the purpose of this, Bull?"

"Varric didn't think it was possible because he couldn't do it. Proving to him it was by doing it myself just wasn't satisfying enough. You beating Varric in my bet for me, now that is satisfying. You just won me two silvers. Plus, looked good doing it too."

Cassandra blushed, smile and slightly shook her head tossing the stem into Bull's growing pile. "Well if it helped you beat Varric, then your welcome." She replied before heading back to Lavellan. 

Varric felt his face turn red. He wasn't even mad he lost the bet. In fact he had forgotten all about the fact that he now owed Bull money. No, he was thinking that the Seeker was good with her tongue and that was a terrifyingly dangerous thought. Even more dangerous, the fact that he would love to see what else she could do with her tongue. 

"Varric?"

"Yep?"

"You lost."

"Yep."

"You thinking about Cassandra?"

"Ye-what?" Varric stopped himself. Unfortunately, not before Bull caught him watching her hips away as she walked back to the Inquisitor.

Bull nodded with a smile. "Yeah I look like that when I think about her too."

Varric quickly snapped back into reality and picked up the writing quill he had dropped when Cassandra won the bet. "Let's keep those thoughts to yourself, Tiny. As shitty as it is, I do actually enjoy being alive and not wrangled by some crazy Seeker."

Bull stood up from his seat and pat Varric sympatherically his shoulder. "Yeah. You keep telling yourself how much you don't want the Seeker's hands around your neck." 

Varric was just about to retaliate to save face, when he heard their female companions begin to approach them. "We best get some rest." Lavellan informed them. "We'll start heading back at before sunrise tomorrow."

"I will take first watch." Cassandra insisted. She sat herself on a rock across from where Bull was sitting placing her traveling bag beside her rummaging in side for something

Varric was watching her every move. From the way that she walked to her spot to the way the flames of their fire cast shadows on the sharp features of her face. To think, he had begun to realize how attractive she was because of the damn stem of a cherry. 

Cassandra suddlenly jerked up and turned to face the dwarf. Her eyes catching his staring at her. 

Shit. 

Varric felt his breath get caught in his throat as she stared back at him puzzled as to why he was watching her in the first place. 

He tried to play it off as smooth as he could giving her a smile. "Have fun on your watch, Seeker. Try not to have too much fun without us." He said as he stood up from his spot placing his parchment and quill back into his bag. Swinging the bag over his shoulder, he began to make his way toward the tent him and Bull were sharing. 

Bull followed close behind. "You're fucked." 

Varric took one final glance at Cassandra as he reached the tent. She had found what she was looking for. A book, but he didn't recognize the cover. She looked almost innocent reading in front of the warmth of the fire. Her eyelids looked slightly closed from where he was standing. The hint of a smile was forming on her lips as she rested her head against her hand. He didn't think she could actual look so relaxed. So beautiful.

"Oh yeah." He finally agreed before entering the tent leaving the Bull cackling as he entered behind him.


	12. What are friends for?

Things were going well for a change. Well, as good as they could be after the world almost experienced all around extinction. The Qunari threat was still on the rise, Solas seemed to yet have malicious intentions, and she had begun to question her own faith quite a bit since the events at the Exalted Council, but none of it mattered at the moment. Because in just a few weeks, she would be Lady Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena, many more names she refused to tell, Tethras. 

She smiled as she still laid in their bed staring at the ring on her finger. A simple but pretty rose gold band with twist on the sides. Easy enough to cover under the gloves she usually wore, but pretty enough to show off. 

She honestly had believed he was joking as he proposed to her when she saw him off after they left the Winter Palace. The hardly even saw each other after Varric had left Skyhold. She had been in Kirkwall a few times to step in and resolve issues between the templars and mages. She had been to his coronation as Kirkwall's viscount. Slept with him once, but that was hardly enough to believe they established a romantic relationship. 

It wasn't until he showed her the ring that she knew he was being serious. He knew their jobs would keep them apart most of the time, but he didnt want to waste anymore time wondering where their relationship was leading. It was the first time he admitted he loved her. It certainly wasnt the romantic grandeur that she had pictured it would be when she was to become engaged, but it was so very them. A hurried kiss and a slip of the ring on her finger when she said yes. The grin on his face as he left was more than satisfying. 

He had accepted who she was. He didnt try and force her to choose between her life and a life of love. How could she say no to a man who was so willing to make her happy? 

Several months after the council, Leliana announced Cassandra as the new Lady Seeker of the Seekers of Truth. She was hardly surprised as she was one of the very few Seekers remaining and the only one qualified to lead them. Leliana had also informed her that since Caer Oswin was no longer a suitable establishment for training new recruits, she had acquired a new castle for Cassandra to reestablish the Seeker order in Kirkwall. 

It was rare that Leliana did anything by chance. No one was to know about her engagement to Varric yet, but it hardly came as a surprise that the Divine, former spymaster of the Inquisition, did. Cassandra thanked her friend for everything, wishing her well as the new Divine, before heading for Kirkwall.

Kirkwall was hardly charming, but Varric was there and seeing as she would soon be wife to the viscount, she lived a far more luxurious lifestyle than she had had in years. A large room with a soft bed and softer bedding. Everything was finely decorated to Varric's taste. She often found short stories or poetry that he would leave for her to find on his desk. It was all very homey and warm. Something she never thought she would enjoy so much. 

Her duties as Lady Seeker kept her from being at the mansion as much as she liked. But the castle, which she named Caer Lavellan, was close enough that she could travel between Kirkwall and the keep often enough.Varric always reminded her a few days away was much better than months away from each other. 

She sat up in the bed stretching her arms above her head. It was well past the time she was usually up. Varric had left the room hours ago to begin his work. On a normal day, she would have been up, dressed, and finishing up her training. But she had gotten a bit spoiled by her new life quite a bit. Well deserved, Varric had said, after all the hard work she had done ove the past few years.

A soft knock was heard on the door to her room. Cassandra took a quick glance at her tunic to be sure she was decent before shouting, "Come in!" 

Bran entered the room his head down slightly in a bow. "Lady Pentaghast, pardon the intrusion, but you have a guest."

"A guest?" She questioned. At this point, all of their friends were well aware of their engagement. The wedding was going to be small, friends and close family only. Well, mostly friends. The only close family Cassandra had was her Uncle, who much to her surprise, was ecstatic to hear the announcement despite her engagement being to a dwarf. And Varric had no immediate family left said for his brother, who was still recovering from the effects of Red Lyrium.

Leliana had asked if she could do the honor of marrying them. It would probably be the first time in history that the Divine would marry a couple. Still, the wedding was a while away. None of their guest would be arriving so soon. 

"She asked that I not tell you her name. She'd rather you be surprised." Bran informed her. "She is waiting for you in the garden."

Mysterious, Cassandra thought. She nodded and thanked the seneschal for his message before he shut the door closed. 

Cassandra quickly got out of bed and pulled leggings on. She hurried to the full length mirror hoping the tunic she wore to bed didn't look too wrinkled. Maker, she looked a mess! Makeup smudged under her eyes, her hair was slightly longer now and sticking up in every direction, the braid she usually crown head around her head drapped over her shoulder coming undone, her tunic in fact very wrinkled. 

She sighed quickly removing her tunic to wipe the make up from under her eyes. Spotting one of Varric's tunics draped on his chair, she snatched it up and slide it on. A dark blue silk, lined in gold, his favorite color. The tunic barely reached her thighs and a little more revealing than she hoped, even after she buttoned it up. But it was comfortable and still smelt like him. The best perk to marrying a dwarf was being able to fit his clothing. 

She brushed her hair down with her hands and redid the braid so hair was not coming out of it. She was more than aware that she did not look like a future viscountess, but that came as a surprise to no one. Varric was not the picture of viscount either, so how could the people expect his wife to look any different?

Deciding she was not going to look any better, Cassandra hurried to the garden to meet her mysterious guest. 

In the garden, she searched for her guest. It didnt take long. The gardens were empty except for a woman sitting near the daisies blooming by a small pond. From the back, Cassandra felt some familiarity coming from the woman, but she was unsure who she was until she got closer. She felt her eyes widen as she made a slightly shocked expression. "Hello, Seeker. Or is it Lady Seeker now?" The woman smiled as Cassandra came into view. 

"Hawke?" Cassandra managed to finally get out once her surprise had faded. She looked the same as she did the day they left adamant, lacking only the warpaint that she usually wore across her nose. She was still in armor which told Cassandra she had only just arrived in Kirkwall. It was strange. Why had she requested her and not Varric? 

"In the flesh!" Hawke shouted excitedly. She pat the seat on the stone bench beside her. "Come, have a seat. It looks bad if I sit and leave the soon to be Viscountess standing." 

She had heard. Of course, she had. Varric no doubt wrote to his best friend about his engagement. Cassandra did as she requested and sat down beside her folding her hands in her lap. "This is quite a surprise, Hawke. Does-was Varric aware you were coming home?" 

"No"

"No?"

"I came to surprise him. He invited me to the wedding, which I am aware is in a few weeks. But I wanted to talk to you first."

Cassandra held her breath. She realized whatever Varric had told Hawke about her when they first met was likely nothing good. It must've been rather shocking to hear that he was going to marry the woman he previously only described as his jailer and kidnapper. 

"We didn't get a real chance to get to know each other back at Skyhold. There was a lot going on. Serious stuff. And you...well you rarely ever seemed to want to be bothered with anything else." 

The Seeker blushed. It was humiliating to know that Hawke likely did not think highly of her when Cassandra greatly admired her. "I...yes. We had more important things to worry about then. I'm sure Varric kept you well informed of my personality."

Hawke laughed throwing her head back. "Yes. He described you quite colorfully. I never would have imagined he'd fall in love with you despite all of that." Hawke gave her a genuine smile and placed her hand over Cassandra's. "He thinks very highly of you now, you know. We write as often as we can to each other and he never writes a single letter without informing me of how amazing you are."

Well, that was certainly unexpected. Cassandra had no doubts that Varric cared for her, but to be the center of gossip between him and his best friend was embarrassing to say the least. It was certainly flattering, but mostly embarrassing. She was at a loss for words and was sure Hawke could tell. 

Hawke squeezed Cassandra's hand and continued. "I'm sure you're worried how I must think of you. Only knowing you from Varric's earlier descriptions and current letters."

"I'm sure it's no different from me only knowing you from his tales and passing glances while you were at Skyhold." Cassandra smiled back. She didnt want this to be awkward. She did not want to do anything that would make Hawke disapprove of her. 

"True. True. And Varric is a filthy liar so I probably seem to be the greatest thing since Andraste herself, right? Bullshit. I'll have you know nothing Varric wrote in that book was remotely true. The battle between me and the Arishok? Ha! What a joke! It was an hour of me running around in circles casting fireballs at him to keep him from chopping my head off." Hawke laughed as she told Cassandra the truth. 

Her laugh was contagious as Cassandra felt herself fall into a fit of laughter as well. It seemed to ease her worries about Hawke not approving of her relationship with Varric. If Hawke could be this comfortable with her as though they were truly old friends, then perhaps she did not need to prove her worth. 

"All jokes aside, Seeker-"

"Cassandra." Hawke looked at her puzzled. "Cassandra is fine."

"Alright, Cassandra. Is Seeker soley reserved for charming dwarves then?" She teased. 

Cassandra felt her face flush red. Varric truthfully had not called her Seeker in a long time. When in company he called her by her name. Alone he called her "Sweetheart". She wasnt sure if Varric had actually meantioned that to his friend, so it was best not to bring it up. "No. It's just-"

"I'm teasing, Cassandra. You dont have to tell me. Anyway, as I was saying. All jokes aside, Varric obviously cares a lot for you. And I care a lot for Varric." 

She felt her stomach drop and her throat close up. Never in her life had she been so desperate for someone's approval. Usually she could care less for ones approval. 

"I love him like a brother." She paused and looked up in thought before continuing, "Truthfully, I may actually love him more than my own brother, but don't tell Carver I said that. He has seen me at my best and my worst. He's the kindest and most thoughtful person while being the biggest ass he can possibly be. And because of it he deserves nothing but the best."

Her nerves were rattling at this point as she was contemplating all the ways thus could end badly. Varric had often called her optimistic. He would be disappointed in her if he could read her thoughts right now. 

"And I really, really want to believe you are the best for him, Cassandra. But being the overprotective type that I am, I dont think there will ever really be a best for Varric. That being said, I do approve of how you changed him. You make him happy, that much is obvious, but I need to be certain that this is not just a one way street. I need to know if you feel the same way Varric feels." Hawke gave her an expression of sincere worry. Like a mother concerned for her child. 

It made Cassandra uneasy. She knew she loved the dwarf and she did care about him, but what could she say to put Hawke's worries to rest? How could she prove that to her? "Forgive me, Hawke, as I'm sure Varric has mentioned, I am terrible with words. I dont know if there is anything I can say to prove how much I care for Varric, but i do. More than i ever thought i could. And if it makes it makes you feel any better, I do not intend to do him harm. Well, emotionally at least. Maker knows the dwarf can still set my blood boiling despite how much I love him."

"I completely understand. And it does put my worries to ease. You are a good woman, Cassandra. You have my blessing of course."

"Thank you. It means a lot to have your approval. I know Varric values it above all else."

"I don't know about that. Varric rarely approves of anything I say or do. Goes along with it cause he knows I'll make him do it anyway." 

They both stood up at the same time. Cassandra extended her arm out to shake Hawke's hand. "Thank you for this. It was a pleasure to see you again."

Hawke shook her head and pulled the Seeker in for a hug ignoring her extended hand. This caught Cassandra off guard. Hawke simply squeezed her tighter. "Welcome to the family." 

Cassandra hugged her back. She didnt think she needed approval to go forward with her marriage, but it was comforting to know she had it. It felt different with Hawke compared to Varric's other friends. Sure, they most certainly cared about him and wanted his happiness, but Hawke was the most important to him. 

"Well, that's enough of that. I best go see him before he finds out I've been here all this time and didnt think to visit him." Hawke said releasing the Seeker from the hug. 

"He is probably locked in his office pretending to work to appease Bran. Shall we see if he is in of a distraction?"

Hawke linked her arm with Cassandra's as they began to head back inside the mansion. "Yes I think this will be quite the distraction. His best friend and his bride to be strolling in together demanding him to take us for drinks. I think you and I are going to be quite the team, Lady Seeker."

"Yes, we certainly will be."


	13. Flirting

Things had slowed down quite a bit with Corphyeus' defeat. The inner circle had far less work now as the Inquisitor was pulled in a hundred directions with meetings and assisting with the new Divine. Lavellan was aware her companions were growing bored at Skyhold. The rifts were all closed, so she decided they really didn't have to wait for her to lead a group out to complete task for the Inquisition. The Venatori and Red Templars were still out there and needed to be dealt with. She had faith in the leadership skills of several of her companions; Vivienne, Iron Bull, and Cassandra. And so Lavellan had allowed the three of them to proceed with finishing missions without her should it be necessary.

Word had reach Cassandra that there was a small group of bandits plucking off people journeying to Skyhold very close to the castle itself. She agreed to deal with the bandits. Cassandra was well aware of her own strength, but she would be a fool to try and handle the situation herself even if it was just a few bandits. 

Vivienne had left with Cole, Sera, and Blackwall to deal with relief efforts in the Emprise de Leon and Bull lead the chargers along with Dorian to finish off the red templars in the Emerald Graves. That left the Seeker with… A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she rubbed her temples to ease the tension from the growing headache at the thought. That left her with Varric. 

While her relationship with Varric was no longer strained, he still continued to pester her whenever he got the chance. When traveling with others, she was able to escape the blunt of his verbal teasing for a while as he could direct them towards his other companions. But to travel with him alone, just the two of them, she wasn't sure how she would fare. She could already here Varric's voice accusing her of getting them alone so she could off him or chuck him off the mountain side. She only half considered doing it should he make such comments. 

Cassandra began to put her armor on and equipping her sword and shield as slowly as she could. She did miss having to leave Skyhold. With things falling so quiet, she rarely found herself busy. Even her favorite books could not hold her attention for too long as she had completed them so many times in the course of a few weeks. She could bear Varric's sly remarks for a bit if it meant getting the rust off her joints. 

If there was one thing she could count on from Varric, it was he always remained in the same locations. He was simple enough to find. Always sitting by the fire place in the main hall. It always puzzled her how he found more comfort in writing in such a busy location rather than the quiet and solitude of his own quarters. How he could even think with so much commotion surrounding him was beyond her. 

She began to approach the dwarf at his table. He immediately looked up from his writing as she came up to him giving her a mischievous smirk. Cassandra groaned. And so it begins, she thought. 

"Seeker?" 

"Varric, we are needed. Bandits on the outskirts." She informed him. 

Varric gave her a sly grin while placing his quill down. "Looking for some alone time with yours truly, Seeker? You just have to ask. No bandits needed." He winked. 

Cassandra's face scrunched up. "I am not making the bandits up, Varric. And you are simply the only one here."

"Eh? So I wouldn't have been your first choice? And here I thought you were starting to like me." 

"Ugh. Are you coming or not?"

"Careful, Seeker. You can't just ask those sort of questions in public. People may take it out of context." 

She felt her face flush, but she wasn't sure if it was from the irritation or the provocative thought. She noticed Varric staring at her clearly amused by her reaction. Regaining her composure she crossed her arms and glared at the dwarf. He gave her a hearty chuckle throwing his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright. No more teasing. Sure, I'll meet you at the gate. Can't have my Seeker running off all by herself." 

"Meet you at the gate in a few then." She replied before heading back to the entry to the castle. His words had not truly hit her until she got to the stairs. He had called her "my Seeker." What did that mean? Did he even say that or was her imagination acting up? Why would her imagination want her to be his? She ignored it. Now was not the time for things that probably didn't even happen. 

It was only a short trip she reminded herself once more as she waited for the dwarf to arrive. It didn't ease her nerves any more, but it helped knowing she would soon be back to the castle and as far away from Varric as she could possibly be. 

Varric arrived fully dressed in his armor and Bianca slumped over his back. He wore a mischievous expression and it made her uneasy. "Ready to go?" She asked as he approached closer. 

"Always ready for you, Seeker." He winked at her again. 

Cassandra tried to feel annoyed, but she was flustered instead. The tone of his voice did not sound as he intended to bother her. No, it was more sincere than usual. Again, she chose to ignore his teasing. That's all it was, just him teasing her for a reaction. To make her mad and make a mockery of her. That thought made her more upset that she thought it would, but she couldn't figure out why. Perhaps it was due to her considering Varric a reliable ally and yet he just treated her like a joke. That must be it. 

As they walked down the mountain path, his silence was not lost on her. He had not said a word since they left the gate. Did he not have anything to say to her that didn't involve mocking her? Had they ever had a conversation that didn't end in fighting? Thinking back on it, the answer was a swift no. No wonder he didn't think kindly of her. She made an attempt to break the silence, "You will be heading to Kirkwall soon?" She asked.

"Soon. Bet you can't wait to see me leave." He responded. Again no malice in his voice. Sincere and a bit sad as though the fact that she wouldn't care if he left upset him. 

"That isn't entirely true. Can't say I'll miss your needling, but I will notice that it isn't there."

He laughed. "Aw, so you will miss me, huh?"

"Do not get carried away, dwarf."

"I'll take that as a yes. Don't worry, Seeker, I won't tell anyone. And for what it's worth, I'll miss you too. Can't imagine there will ever be another chance a pretty seeker will come looking for me again." 

She almost stopped in her tracks. Pretty? That was a different adjective linked to her. One she rarely heard men call her and never by the dwarf. And he just openly admitted to her that he would miss her once he went home. Did that mean he had grown to care for her as she did him? Maybe his constant bickering was how he treated all of his friends. He did seem to bother Hawke the same way, though she was much better at countering back. Though his bickering with Hawke sounded far less suggestive than it was with her. 

"There's the camp!" Varric called to her taking her away from her thoughts. She readied her sword and shield while Varric prepared Bianca. There were not many bandits. This would be over quickly. 

Her predictions were accurate. They offed the bandits quick enough, even scaring a few of them away. She was hoping they would put up more of a fight. Perhaps she should've requested to tag along with Bull instead. Red templars were more formidable opponents. She sheathed her blade and sighed. Varric wiped some blood spatter off of Bianca's handle before placing her back onto his back. He looked at the Seeker with a scowl on her face. "What's the matter, Seeker? Not challenging enough for you?"

"No, it's just, I've simply grown bored of these petty thugs."

"Bored, huh? I could probably come up with a few ways to cure your boredom that doesn't involve bandits." He said with a wink. 

As she blankly stared at the dwarf, it suddenly hit her. "Varric…are you flirting with me?" 

Varric's jaw hung open as he stared back in disbelief. "You're shitting me. You just noticed? I've been flirting with you since you asked me on this trip!" 

"Why would that be the first thing I suspect you of doing when you are always teasing me?!" 

"Because I never used to tease you with flirtatious phrases!"

"Well excuse me for not getting flirted with enough to know when I am being flirted with! Maybe you should have made your intentions more clear!" Cassandra really couldn't believe they were arguing about this now. In the middle of the mountains, surrounded by the corpses of the men they had just slain.

Perhaps she should've waited till they were back at Skyhold. Then again, had she waited, Varric may have taken that as a sign that she was not interested in his advances. Was she interested in his advances? It wasn't as though other members of the Inquisition weren't interested in her. Lavellan and Bull both made it quite obvious to her that they were interested. She quickly dismissed them. Leliana had also made moves on her early into their meeting, which Cassandra turned down as well. But she had yet to stop Varric from flirting with her. Honestly, she couldn't believe that he actually was flirting with her. All this time she thought her mind was conjuring up some illusion that he was. 

"Fine! Next time I'll just tell you I want to kiss you rather than making subtle hints about it!" 

"You will not! I will demand you take me to dinner first and I expect there to be flowers!" She countered. She was still annoyed but she could feel the smile beginning to form on her face. She felt her lips tug at the sides daring to smile back at how ridiculous this whole thing was. Her for being so oblivious to it and Varric for not being blunt about something for once in his life.

"You drive a hard bargain, Seeker. But I think I can manage dinner and flowers." He grabbed her hand, removing the blood stained glove that covered it, and brought it to his lips. A kiss to seal the deal. She held her breath as he took her hand. She knew this was what she wanted, but never did she expect it from Varric of all people. How long had he been planning this? Had he always had an interest in her? He had called her pretty earlier, did he always believe that true? Maker, how long had she had feelings for the dwarf and not known about them? Her heart had betrayed her in a way she never thought possible. Falling in love without her permission. Was that even possible?

As Varric released her hand, she felt the cold of the mountain air strike it. Varric handed her back her glove and she quickly slipped it back on still feeling the lingering effects of his kiss on her hand. She looked down at the snow on the ground keeping Varric from seeing the pink on her cheeks. "We can discuss the terms of our arrangement back at Skyhold."

Varric laughed. He knew things would be different with the Seeker. She was the furthest thing from his type that there could be. Human, a tall one at that, a warrior, a pious woman of the Chantry, honest, short hair, standing there making a business arrangement of him asking her out. And yet he just found her to be the most amazing, beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Guess you can't always plan who you fall in love with. "We should hurry on back then, before you change your mind."

Cassandra gave him a sweet smile before taking the lead back home.


	14. Love Bites

"Hey, what's that on your neck Cassandra?" Sera shouted to her from the lake noticing a bruise between her neck and shoulder. 

Lavellan decided to bring her female companions on their trip to the Exhalted Plains. Vivienne had made a request to obtain the heart of the snowy wyvern spotted somewhere in the plains. It was a relief not to have any of the guys with them. It meant not being conscious of changing and talk about things that may have been too feminine for their other companions. It also meant they could enjoy a relaxing soak in the lake together. 

Cassandra's hand quickly flew to the back of her neck. She couldn't feel anything but her face flushed as she knew exactly what Sera was referring to. She had hoped that bruise would have gone away by now. 

"Is that a love bite, darling?" Vivienne smirked entering the lake after Sera.

The young elf went into a hysterical fit of laughter. Even Cassandra's menacing glare wasn't enough to stop her. 

Suddenly feeling quite a bit self conscious, Cassandra considered leaving back to the camp and bathing when they were all finished. She wasn't sure how many more marks she had anywhere else on her body. 

When Varric first nipped her and she realized she liked it, she gave him one rule. He was not to leave the marks anywhere visible. Simple enough, since she was usually covered from head to toe in armor. But they hadn't planned for her to be naked in front of any of her other companions. 

"It's nothing." She said deciding to finish taking off the remainder of her clothing and joining them in the cooling water. They already saw it. No need to miss an opportunity to miss out on a bath because of her own embarrassment. 

She kept herself low in the water away from their gazes. She was sure they were observing her for more bites. 

"You're getting some back at Skyhold, Seeker? Here I thought you all chaste and what not." Sera giggled.

"She reads smutty literature, Sera. It's not all that shocking." The Inquisitor joined the teasing taking a seat beside the other elven woman. 

It wasn't his fault, but she was going to kill the dwarf when she got back. The very reason she wanted to keep their relationship a secret was because she was no good at handling being embarrassed. Maker forbid, Dorian found out after they so swiftly denied their involvement with each other. Cassandra began wondering if she would be able to drown the three of them successfully. Would everyone back home believe it to be an accident?

"Who have you been involved with, my dear? You rarely seem to have the time to be involved with anyone."

"It is none of your business, Vivienne." Cassandra snapped back. There was no bite in that comeback. She was too embarrassed to feel anything else. 

"Vivienne is right though! You got your training and war plans and important people stuff all the time. When do you ever have the....oh...Oh!" Sera began cackling again. "It's someone in our important people group! Someone you could sneak around with and no one would even think."

Cassandra felt her stomach twist into knots. Bad enough they could figure it was someone in Skyhold, but to have narrowed it down to just their immediate companions meant it wouldn't be long before they figured out just who it was. Cassandra did not have a poker face. The second they mentioned the dwarf, her secret will be out. 

Even if she chose to leave the lake now, they would just bring it up on the road. She mentally hit herself for spending the night with Varric right before they left for the Exhalted Plains. It would be weeks before I see you again, he argued and she caved in. Stupid, foolish dwarf. 

"I bet it's, Leliana. They are always together." Lavellan laughed. 

"What?! And risk a scandal with those Orlesian snobs when they find out the Left and Right Hands are shagging each other?Nah, it's definately Cully-Wully." Sera argued. 

"My dears, it's likely the Iron Bull. You hear how he talks about her. They've shared a tent on more than one occasion as well." Vivienne added her observations. 

"I am right here!" Cassandra reminded them in case they had forgotten her presence. 

"Right you are. So are you going to tell us? Which of us is right?" Lavellan's eyes widened as she eagerly awaited her answer. 

Cassandra began to feel nauseous. Their eyes all on her. As if this situation could not be anymore embarrassing, her brain remembered she was still naked in the water with everyone staring at her. She sunk into the water as much as she could. "As I said earlier, it is none of your business!" 

"Aw, your no fun, Cassandra." Sera slumped back into the water. "I hope your more fun in bed for the sake of your lover." 

The Seeker sighed with relief. The three of her companions all shared a look of disappointment, but none of them pressed her for details. Deciding to change the topic, Lavellan began talking about what her plans were for Halamsharial. Cassandra appreciated the change in discussion, but she was more pleased that none of them had guessed correctly as to who left her that mark. 

She would have to discuss with Varric how to avoid anymore situations like this in the future. A discussion she hoped would perhaps leave a new bruise somewhere more discreet.


	15. In a Fairytale

In a fairytale, he would be her knight in shining armor. The one who rides into the fight on a noble steed. But he's not, he's just Varric. Dwarf, rogue, storyteller, a regular nobody. 

Sitting nearby in the courtyard, he watches her swing her blade into the hay stuffed dummy wondering why she feels the need to train so aggressively every morning. The woman had more strength in one finger than an army of men. She'd no doubt give him a practical response regarding staying fit. Maintaining her strength, but he wondered if it was because she feared her strength diminishing with age. 

In a fairytale, she'd be his princess. Beautiful, noble, a woman of royalty. That was not his Cassandra. Born to a royal family, she never looked or acted the part. A woman too sharp. Her beauty often overlooked. But never to him. She may not have been beautiful by conventional standards, but she was extraordinarily beautiful in her own way. 

She wiped a drop of sweat from her brow with her gloved arm. Sheathing her sword, she appeared to have completed her training for the day. Cassandra had noticed the dwarf sitting nearby. Their eyes made contact for a second. He gave her a nod as though to say hi to hide the fact that he had been watching her for so long. 

In a fairytale, he would be the prince that rescued her from a fire breathing dragon. A ridiculous trope which would never happen. Cassandra was a warrior and it was likely she would never need rescuing. He took small pleasures in striking attackers aiming for her while she was preoccupied with other enemies believing it as a sort of rescuing. But she would think nothing of it. An ally in arms protecting her and watching her back was not something that she was unfamiliar with. 

As for the dragon, she was a Pentaghast. Trained to be a dragon hunter before an unfortunate circumstances severed that dream. She stared down dragons with a gaze that rivaled their own making it clear to the beast that she was not afraid of them. Cassandra could strike down a dragon before Varric could even think of running to her aid. 

She had begun to approach him wiping her face clear of any remaining sweat. Her makeup streaming down her cheeks. The dark charcoal giving a boldness to her eyes. Fierce, passionate, fiery. Her eyes were her most impressive feature. They told a story with words she often struggled to say. 

Cassandra took a seat near him in the grass. A cool breeze hitting her face rustling her short, choppy hair. She was trying her hardest to respect his privacy by not peeking at his parchment. She did not want to tarnish their budding friendship by making him feel like she did not trust him. 

But he knew she was eagerly awaiting the final chapter of Swords and Shields. He kept prolonging the release as he worried she would no longer feel the need to talk to him if she had it. She had been spending more time with him anxiously awaiting the day he would gift her the book she was longing for. 

In a fairytale, he would tell her he was in love with her. But this wasn't a fairytale and he would never deserve her. She would deny him. He was already so sure of this.

There was nothing he could offer her a woman of legend, the founder of the Inquisition. He would pale in comparison to how bright she shone. And she was human, he a dwarf. Most humans, especially women, were not fond of the height difference. He had done well up until now avoiding feelings of interest for humans. He had even managed to avoid Isabella's temptations, but Cassandra stole his heart without even trying. 

"Do you ever intend on finishing the book, Varric?" She asked disrupting his thoughts and the silence that they were enjoying. 

He smiled looking at the anticipation in her beautiful eyes. Perhaps he will tell her someday. For now, it would have to be enough to love her from afar. "I will. Eventually. My mind is preoccupied with another story."

He watched her eyes widen with excitement. She wondered if he would write about the Inquisition. If he would include her in his tale. "What sort of story?"

He folded his written on parchment in half placing it to the side out of Cassandra's view. She watched him begin to write on a new page. "A fairytale about a princess who saves a dwarf."

"What does she save him from?" She was leaning just a bit closer.

"I'm not sure yet. A dragon? A blood mage? Himself?" He looked at her again placing his hand onto the grass dangerously close to hers. The tips of their fingers barely grazing. It wasn't wise for them to be so close in public. That was how unwanted rumors began. And the Seeker enjoyed her privacy. 

"Do they fall in love?" 

"I hope so."


	16. Secrets

"You and Varric seem to be getting alone better. Something I should know about?" The Inquisitor noted as her and Cassandra began to set up their tent. 

"As well as we can be. Nothing more than comrades in arms." Cassandra assured her handing her a wooden peg to hold her side of the tent down.

Varric gave a low growl listening to his lover deny them being anything but acquaintances while he prepared the fire pit for Vivienne to ignite. He agreed with her to keep their relationship a secret at the start of the relationship. But now it had been at least six months since they were together. It was well past time for them to tell the others they were a couple. He knew she enjoyed to keep her life private and to be in a relationship meant everyone would be in her business. That didn’t make it any easier when situations like this occurred. 

Cassandra was not a gifted liar, but when inquired about her love life, she was better at it than he was. No tells, no hesitation. She could deny her involvement with the dwarf with no problem. Keeping a straight face while doing so. He was a liar and she was a Seeker of Truth. At some point, the tables had turn for he wished to tell the truth when she didn't. It worried him seeing her so nonchalant about the questions as though she truly had no feeling for him. He wondered where the line was between fact and fiction. Perhaps she didn't care for him the way he did her. 

By the stone, he hoped that wasn't true. Varric loved her more than he ever thought he would. A human, the Seeker no the less. But he was in love and he would tell everyone, damn his pride, if she would only let him. He didn't care what others thought should they mock them for it. He was lucky to have a woman like her and he knew it. Why should he keep it a secret? Why would he want to? 

He worried he would be falling into the same trap Bianca had laid out for him. To be in love in secret. Ashamed of her feelings for him. And that hurt more than anything. 

He watched her as she finished the tent she would be sharing with him. She must've felt him staring for she turned to face him giving him a small smile. He did not return it choosing to mingle with Vivienne instead. He knew she would catch on that he was annoyed by her. He would rather cut off his own tongue than have to endure conversation with the former Grand Enchanter and she was well aware of this. 

It was sometime later and the fire was dying out. Varric volunteered to gather more wood, something else he never did. He hated the woods and the dark. The ground was too uneven and he had a hard time navigating during the day let alone at night. Now the Seeker knew for certain that something was troubling the dwarf. He got up delving into the woods and Cassandra followed after. 

Varric knew she was following, but he didn't care. He shouldn't have started this now, when they risked being attacked out in the wilderness of the Emerald Graves. Yet here they were about to have a screaming match in the middle of the woods swarming with bears, red templars, and giants. The last thing he wanted was to be torn apart by something due to a loud argument with the Seeker. Cassandra may as well tear him apart herself. 

Not only that, but damn it all, he didn't want to embarrass her in front of everyone. He was trying to be angry with her. Trying so hard to fault her. But he loved her and thought she was perfect. His heart just couldn't accept being angry with her. 

"Varric?" Her heavy accent filled with concern. He didn't look at her. If he did, he may forget why he was angry with her in the first place. "Varric." This time it was a demand. And Maker knew how demanding she could be when she wanted something. 

He stopped remaining still. A soft breeze cooled his warmed, flushed face. It could have been romantic. The trees and the starlit sky. The distant sound of the waterfall and the sounds of nightlife critters. And her standing there bare of most of her armor, her makeup removed and hair draped over her shoulder. He always found her most beautiful when she was like that. "What?" He asked not trying to hide his anger. 

"Why are you angry with me?" She questioned equally as angry in tone as he was. She has no right to be as furious as he was for giving her the silent treatment. After all he was but an acquaintance to her. Why should she care if he is bothered by her?

"You really don't know? I've had to listen to you deny our relationship almost every day since it started! How the hell do you think that makes me feel?"

"We agreed to keep it a secret and now you are punishing me for it?!" She came closer to him reaching for him and forcing him to face her. The anger in his eyes startled her. For all their animosities earlier, he had never looked this angry with her. 

Varric tried so hard not to falter. Not to give her the satisfaction of his forgiveness, but looking into her eyes now, it was proving more difficult than he anticipated. He wanted to hurt her the way she hurt him, but he couldn't. He didn't want to see her like that. "That was in the beginning. Cassandra, we've been together for months! I thought you would be over worrying about what people thought of you. Are you really so embarrassed of me?"

She flinched as she saw the hurt in his eyes. They shifted so quickly from anger to pain, she thought she imagined it. "Embarrassed by you? Why would I-I am not embarrassed by you, Varric! I do not think it is anyone's business what our relationship is. I love you and that doesn't change because I don't want the others to know."

He wanted to believe her more than anything, but Bianca had said the same thing. Granted, the stupid caste system kept Bianca from him. But they could have worked if Bianca had only come with him. There would have been assassination attempts, but at least they would've been together, damn the consequences. 

Nothing kept Cassandra from being forward about it but her own pride. She was born of a noble family, but the only thing keeping her from being cut off was her uncle's love for her. Her family would not care should she pledge her love for a dwarf. It was more the reason to disown her. One less competitor for the throne she didn't want. 

"I thought you'd be different from her. You were honest and loyal. We could've made a distance relationship work once the Inquisition was over, but no. I'm sick of hiding in the shadows and pretending it doesn't bother me. I'm sick of watching you lie to everyone, to yourself." 

Hearing him compare her to Bianca., that hurt. She knew she was better than the manipulative dwarf whom Varric loved before her. She reached her arms out to embrace him and let him know how wrong he was, but he stepped out of her grasp. "Cassandra, I don't want to do this anymore. Running around pretending we haven't spent every damn night together. You think you're not embarrassed, but there is no other reason for it. We don't have to tell everyone all of the details, but why can't they know we're together?"

"Just give me a little time to adjust to the idea. You know what everyone is going to say, right?"

"I don't give a fuck what they say! You're the only one whose opinion matters to me! Either you tell everyone the truth or we're over." He turned back down his path ignoring her plea for him to come back. 

His whole life he had been second choice. Bianca picked what's his face. His brother got everything just for being born first. He wouldn't give Cassandra the chance to treat him the same way. 

That night, their sleeping arrangements changed due to Cassandra begging Lavellan to share a tent with Varric. He was grateful for that, because the last thing he wanted was to spend one last night with Cassandra. 

\-----

They didn't talk for the remainder of their time in the Emerald Graves. Varric avoided her the trip back to Skyhold. Their sudden change in behavior was not lost on Vivienne and Lavellan. They wondered what had happened that day when their companions went off for firewood. But neither dared to ask. The last thing anyone needed was to trigger an argument between the Seeker and the dwarf. The Maker himself couldn't intervene when those two were at each other's throats. 

Varric assumed his relationship was over. It had been two weeks since they arrived back to Skyhold. Aside from her training in the courtyard, he didn't see her. She never came through the hall, not that he sat there often anymore. He never even saw her securing the barracks with Cullen. She had become a ghost. 

Sleep had also disappeared. He tossed and turned replaying the scene over and over again trying to see if he could have done things differently. The same result, he shouldn't have acted out of anger. He should have waited till it past and then talked with her. An impulsive decision was made and now Cassandra was no longer in his reach. 

He wanted to visit her in her quarters above the forge and apologize. They were both at fault, but he was willing to take the blame if it meant seeing her again. He missed her. There was no closure, no official ending of their relationship. Another similarity between her and Bianca. 

He needed a drink. If he didn't start to forget the Seeker now, he'd be wallowing in misery until he went back to Kirkwall. Some company other than her would do him good as well. Conversation always did wonders for a broken heart. At least it did for him.

Bull and Blackwall greeted him from their usual table. He tried not to let the heartbreak keep him down. No one knew about it, so all he had to do was forget it even happened. Easier said than done. Everything reminded him of her. Everything triggering a memory of their time together. It was only a few months, but it felt as though he loved her for years. 

And as though that wasn't enough, the Maker just had to start fucking with him now. Cassandra had never been the type to frequent the tavern. One could count on one hand the number of times she had visited since its construction. He couldn't even convince her when they were together. She didn't want to be seen together. And yet here she was, strolling in as though she was a daily customer making her way to the bar. He scoffed taking a sip of his ale trying to keep his eyes off of her. He could still see her in his peripherals scanning the tavern. Hoping she would not notice him, he attempted to hide behind Bull.

The Iron Bull noticed Varric crouching and immediately noticed what shifted Varric's mood. He laughed and clapped the dwarf's back. "Piss off the Seeker again, Varric? Will you ever learn?"

Varric didnt have time to answer. Cassandra had caught sight of him and made her way to the table. Shit, she would want to talk. And damn his weakness he would fall back to her. It was too soon. He wasn't ready to see her again. 

Blackwall and Bull exchanged a look while Varric had an internal argument with himself. Should he run or stay put? Did she really intend to cause a scene in front of everyone or would she drag him somewhere more private? He hoped for the former, because the latter would mean he would be all over her again. He wished Hawke was still here. She would be able to talk some sense into him. Or at the very least come to his defense. 

Time had run out as the Seeker reached the table and he only had one option now. Stay put and see where this went. Taking a large gulp of his ale he looked Cassandra in the eye trying to keep his cool.

Her eyes shone bright with determination like they did right before a big fight. Not a good sign for him. The dark charcoal eyeshadow she wore around her eyes always enhanced that. Her cheeks were redder than usual he noted. 

Varric waited for her to say something. She didn't acknowledge their other companions keeping her eyes on the dwarf. She fiddled with her fingers, but didn't move her gaze. Varric considered speaking first, but then.....she kissed him. 

There in front of everyone in the tavern. Such swiftness it cause Varric to drop his ale spilling it all over the table. Blackwall gasped his jaw hung open in disbelief at the display of affection. While Bull just let out a hearty laugh before whistling. The other residents of the tavern were quick to take notice. Several of the patrons tapping their companions and pointing at them. It fell silent as Maryden stopped strumming her lute. Cassandra could only hope this would not be made into a tavern tale. 

Varric was stunned. When he insisted Cassandra tell everyone, he thought she would tell one or two of their companions and let the gossip take its course. He never expected her to make such a bold move. Though, he should have. Cassandra was a woman of action and few words. She struggled finding what she needed to say. He found it quite adorable at times watching her get flustered when he would phrase and finish her sentences for her. 

She broke the kiss first when he didn't kiss her back. The determination long gone from her eyes. Replaced with fear and desperation. She was worried she was too late. It took a lot for her to work up the nerve to do this. Varric's heart sunk as he watched her eyes become glossy from the tears that threatened to fall. 

At this point, everyone's eyes were on them. Hushed whispers of rumors and gossip passing the lips of the residents. This would spread through Skyhold by morning. Cassandra's face was completely red from embarrassment. Varric suddenly felt guilty for putting her through this. 

He quickly pushed himself out of his chair grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her to the upper level of the tavern. He lead her out to the barracks for fresh air. If she felt anything like he did in this moment, it felt like the tavern's walls were closing in on them. 

Fortunately, the barracks were clear of any soldiers. They were alone and the cool mountain air a refreshing change from the stuffy tavern. Cassandra took a few deep breaths while leaning on the stone ledge. Her eyes were closed, the red still in her cheeks. "I missed you." She admitted her voice cracking through her accent. Varric swallowed the lump building in his throat as she stood up to face him. "I am too late, aren't I? I tried, Varric. The words would not come out. I cou-"

He pulled her to him and finally returned the kiss. She already proved her heart to him. No more secrets, no more hiding. She was his and the world would know it. He broke the kiss, kissing her on her forehead before she straightened herself. "I missed you too."

"I am sorry. I didn't mean for things to fall apart as quickly as they did. Just so you know, I was never embarrassed of you. I am sorry I ruined everything. I am sorry." She apologized several times her voice cracking with every breath. 

And now she was crying. Didn't that just take the cake? Varric felt like an ass. If he had calmly talked to her about this in the first place they wouldn't be doing this right now. She probably wouldn't feel so ashamed of her decision. He wrapped his arms around her waist wishing he was just a bit taller to kiss her cheek. He couldn't complain too much as his head was pillowed by her chest. "It's alright, Cassandra. I forgive you. I just got tired of being runner up."

She pulled back slightly, only enough to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I am NOT Bianca. I never intended for you to feel that way. Nor will I ever do so again."

"I know, Sweetheart. We're ok. We should've did this together." He pulled her back to him holding her tightly in place. 

"It doesn't matter now. Everyone knows. Or they will soon enough." She wrapped her arms around his neck resting her chin on the top of his head. She was nervous. He heard it in her voice, but she was trying not to show it. She would be pestered with questions by their other companions. Very personal, intimate questions and she was still unprepared for that. Maker, when this reach Dorian they were never going to hear the end of it. 

"It's not so bad. All you have to do is tell them we're together. If they press for details, send them my way." 

"What will you tell them?"

"The Seeker is just as rough in bed as she is on the battlefield." He laughed. She jumped back punching his arm her face beginning to turn red again. He grabbed her wrist keeping her from hitting him again. Pulling her to his level, he kissed her again. "Don't worry, Seeker. I can handle the embarrassing stuff. You just have to stand next to me and look pretty. And occasionally punch some asshole who has a problem with a human and dwarf being together. Cause we both know that's inevitable."

She smiled pressing her forehead to his and placing both hands on his face feeling the stubble on her palms. "I can do that. But you will not tell them what goes on in the bedroom, Varric. I will kill you." 

"Only when you're not around, Sweetheart." He chuckled. 

\-----

The residents of Skyhold wasted no time spreading the news of the Seeker's relationship with the storyteller. But at least they had the common curtesy to keep it hushed in her presence. Their inner circle on the other hand, wished to obtain more details regarding their relationship other than the kiss in the tavern. Was that the first kiss? How long had they had feelings for each other? Did anyone know about them?

When Varric revealed that they had been together for months, it had shocked all of them, including Nightingale, who he had thought would have known. Leliana was a little disappointed Cassandra felt the need to keep it a secret from her, but she was happy for her friend none the less. As predicted, Dorian was insufferably smug about the whole thing bothering Cassandra about it every chance he got. Varric was far too clever for him to pull any information out of, but Cassandra was an open book. At first, she found herself embarrassed by the questioning. But now, she felt indifferent. They would grow tired of pressing for details eventually. No one wanted to know everything about their friends relationships. Nor would she tell everything.

Dorian had been shadowing her in the library asking her about her family's opinion on the matter. An easy question as she did not care what her family would think. While she may not approve of her uncle's career or political views, the man was not a racist. So long as Varric treated her accordingly, he would approve. Everyone else could jump off a bridge for all she cared. 

She was growing tired of his questions. Wishing she had Varric's gift for witty comments, she began thinking about what the dwarf would say in this situation. Swiping a book of interest off the shelf, she turned to him a smug smile on her face. "Would you like me to start questioning you about your relationship with the Iron Bull?"

"Wha-how did you-"

"Considering how fast word of my relationship with Varric has spread, it should come to no surprise to you that rumors of you roaming the halls at all hours of the night. Entering and exiting the Bull's quarters. Tell me, Dorian, top or bottom?" A mischievous grin plaster across her face. She was very pleased with his reaction.

The Tevinter mage flushed the brightest shade of red and she wondered if her face used to get that color when asked the same question. Suddenly, the mage fell silent. He cleared his throat bid, her a good day, and went on his way leaving her alone in the library. Cassandra laughed reminding herself to tell Varric that one later as she continued searching the shelves for another book to peak her interest. 

It was a relief not having to keep things secret despite everyone prying. They would sit in the hall or gardens together holding hands or his head resting in her lap. Some days they would sit in silence merely enjoying each others company. Other days, Varric would have her laughing so hard she felt her stomach would tear. Cassandra felt happier than she had felt in years and she suspected Varric did too.


	17. Desires

His head was foggy when he woke up. It felt as though he was waking up from a hangover, though he didn't recall drinking the night prior to his waking. His eyes fluttered as he gazed around the room his head still resting on his pillow. It was his room, the same way he had left it the day before. So why did it feel so foreign to him? His imagination was playing games with him. A few more minutes of sleep should do the trick. If anyone needed him, they would seek him out. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to fall back to sleep. His mind was restless continuing to try and process this troubled feeling weighing over him. What was he doing yesterday? Why couldn't he remember? Hangover or not, he usually remembered what put him into this position no matter how hammered he got. 

An arm reached over him from the other side of the bed pulling him in closer. Varric's eyes flashed wide open. It had been some time since he had taken a woman back to his bed after a night of drinking. He looked at the arm wrapped around him. Long and muscular with slender fingers and jagged fingernails. He contemplated rolling over to get her to tell him what happened last night, but he didn't want to seem like a fool. Or make her feel like a fool. 

Wiggling his way out of her grasp, he made an attempt to turn over his head throbbing from the memory lapse. He made an involuntary gasp as he came face to face with the mystery woman. Her eyes opened as she starred into his a satisfied smile on her face. "Good morning, Varric." 

This had to be a trick, some sort of joke he thought as he pushed himself as far away from her as he could without falling off the bed. "S-seeker?!" Of all the possible situations, this seemed the least likely to happen. Cassandra laying in his bed with his bright red tunic on staring at him seductively. 

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. He often fantasized about what she would feel like because he was an idiot with a sense of danger. Of course he would fall for a woman who had tried to kill him more than one occasion. But never, did he think it would be possible that she would return his feelings. 

Cassandra began to stir moving closer to him as he was still too shocked to move. He tried even harder to remember the night before. Even if he had been plastered, Cassandra was not a drinker. He had never seen her with more than a glass of wine in her hand. There was no way she allowed herself to drink herself into a stupor to wind up in bed with him. She hovered over him her face just a couple of inches from his. "What's wrong?" She asked stroking a few loose strands of hair from his face. 

"This! This is wrong! What happened last night, Cassandra?" He pushed her off of him sitting up in the bed. 

"Varric, you just got back from the Hinderlands with the Inquisitor. I thought you'd be happy to see me." 

He was more confused now than he was a few moments ago. Why did she look upset? The Hinderlands? He couldn't remember that either. His heart was pounding hard against his chest now. A cold sweat forming on the sides of his head. 

Cassandra sighed reaching out for him again. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him towards her and resting his head in her chest. "They told me you may forget. You fell hitting your head terribly."

He fell? He did remember falling but he couldn't remember the Hinderlands. He didn't even remember leaving for them. Weren't they supposed to be heading to Adamant fortress? And he couldn't recall ever telling Cassandra how he felt about her. At the very least, he should remember that. He had thought about it often enough. He would invite her to dinner in the garden. It would be just about sunset and he'd set up a blanket under the tree she was often reading under surrounded by rose bushes. He would gift her a book revealing how he felt about her and she would hopefully react with a kiss as the stars filled the sky. 

It was unlikely his fantasy had come true. He could not control her responses or the scenery. But he would hope that something similar had taken place when he told her he loved her. If it did, he couldn't remember it. He wished he could remember. 

He looked at Cassandra. Her concern was sincere, but something was still off. Her eyes were different. Something unnerving about them. He usually loved her eyes. Now he wished she would stop staring at him. This didn't feel real. He took her arms off of him. "Seeker, I-"

"I understand, Varric. You should rest." She kissed him and it was enough for him to temporarily forget his amnesia. But she felt cold. The kiss felt forced as though she didn't truly want to do it. 

_Varric!_

A distant shout was heard. A Nevarran accent. But that was impossible. The only resident in Skyhold with a Nevarran accent was Cassandra and he was kissing her. He wanted to break the kiss, but Cassandra held his head steady pressed to hers.

_Varric!_

The voice again. Was this a dream? Impossible, but it just didn't feel right. 

_Unhand him demon!_

That sounded like Cassandra. The voice was far more real than the woman in his arms. He pulled away from the Seeker. She smiled as though she didn't hear anything. It was eerie. Not the same feeling he usually got when she smiled at him. He looked around the room again for anything that may have been out of place. Other than the Seeker in his bed, it was all correct. 

"Seeker?"

"What's wrong, Varric?" She asked again the same seductive look on her face. 

A flash of bright light burst through the room keeping him from questioning Cassandra further. He felt himself be tossed from the bed onto a hard, cold ground. His vision was temporarily impaired as he tried to sit up. 

He watched two black blurred figures jump around in front of him not being able to make out what they were. He struggled to make sense of things his head still throbbing. 

Body weakened, he collapsed back onto the ground. He starred up into the sky which was no longer hidden by the roof of his bedroom. Bright green swirls mixed in with the gray black clouds resembling the Breach in Haven. Ah, the Fade. Of course. That would be the only way he would wake up with the Seeker in his bed. She was a demon. 

He smiled as it all started to come back to him. Not that previous events were any better. They had fallen through a rift while battling the archdemon at Adamant. But there was comfort in knowing he had not lost his mind. 

"Varric!" The Seeker's voice shouted again. He reached for his crossbow, but it was no longer on his back. Turning his head to the side, Bianca rested too far out of his reach beside him. 

Fucking Fade would make him kill the woman he loved. He hated demons and the way they wormed through the minds of others. He was a dwarf. He should've been immune to this shit. He would have to find the real Cassandra when he finished off the demon. It would lessen the pain of having to kill the demon with her face. 

Cassandra reached him. He was too weak to fight her off. She reached her arms around him examining him for wounds. The resemblance uncanny. Every detail perfect from the length of her scar to the plating of her armor. Either the demon had a knack for details or Varric had paid enough attention to the Seeker for the demon to mimic her so closely. 

He should be struggling against her hold, but she felt warm compared to the cold ground. And if this was to be the only way he would have her, he would remain like this for just a moment more. It was strange, she felt colder earlier. "You're charade was pretty good. You look just like her." 

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be better when I can get my hands on my crossbow and finish you off for playing games with my head." He began to retaliate against her. Trying to reach past her for Bianca. 

She released him and he fell with a thud back onto the ground hitting his head. He tried to roll past her his crossbow right there! So close to his fingertips. 

She pinned him down placing her hands on his shoulders while he continued to reach for his weapon struggling under her grip. She was strong. That was not surprising. He had seen grown men twice her size go down from a single hit from her. When she finally had enough of his writhing, she slapped him hard across the face leaving a stinging red mark across his cheek. He looked her in the eyes his stomach turning as reality began to set in. Now that she had his attention, Cassandra pointed in the direction of his crossbow. And just a few feet from his crossbow rested the body of a desire demon. 

That would mean, Cassandra had rescued him. Killing the demon that held him captive. That would also mean, he just revealed to Cassandra the imagery the desire demon had fed him. 

Desire demons were just that. Granting people their most wanted desires in an attempt to control their minds and bodies. There was no way she was daft enough not to put two and two together. 

She didn't move off of him immediately. They continued to stare into each other's eyes. Cassandra was scanning him for the truth behind his words. She must've thought it impossible for him to be tricked by a desire for her. 

"You believed I was the demon? That would mean..." She moved off of him remaining on the ground as he sat up. His head hung low with a few strands of hair making it into his face. She knew everything now and the embarrassment of revealing his feelings to her like this sinking in. 

He walked past her picking up his crossbow examining it for damages. They had fallen with the others. Four other companions and it was Cassandra that had to find him like this. What were the odds? She was staring. He could feel her eyes on the back of his neck. But he refused to face her. Placing Bianca on his back, he began to observe the area. The others were nowhere in sight and it was possible they fell victim to a demon as well. "We should find the others."

"Varric, we-"

"Not now, Cassandra." He said his eyes practically begging her not to bring this up now. They were still in immediate danger and he didn't know if Hawke was alive. He just couldn't deal with the awkwardness right now. 

She nodded silently taking the lead to find their friends. 

\-----

They won striking a severely damaging blow to Corphyeus and his armies. He had no mages and now no wardens or demons to support his armies. But they could not dwell on this one victory. They still had ways to go before they were prepared to challenge Corphyeus himself. 

They had lost Stroud, the Wardens mourned their loss while Lavellan organized plans for their redemption. The Wardens were all but failing. This would be their final chance to prove themselves less the world forget their worth. 

Varric found himself an empty spot near the ground floor of the fortress. Pulling up a chair and a bottle of whatever the Wardens were drinking, he celebrated in silence hoping to avoid the Seeker and the conversation about the demon. What would he tell her? He was in love with her and the demon used that to manipulate him? Or should he lie and make her believe the demon confused his dislike of her with love? Either way, he would be the wounded party. It was simply a matter of what would hurt more, her rejection or living the lie? 

Footsteps approached slowly and Varric took a deep breath already knowing who it was. "Just can't seem to hide from you, huh, Seeker?"

She didn't say anything and continued closer to him until she was standing in front of him. Towering him as he shrunk back into the chair. It was just like when they first met in Kirkwall. Him cowering in his seat while the Seeker pressed him for answers trying to find the truth.

"Varric..." Her voice hushed. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she was unsure how to go about it. 

"I know, I know. You want to talk about the demon. There's nothing to talk about. It was a desire demon and I thought it was you. You're a seeker. I'm sure I don't have to explain how desire demons work." Part of him wished the demon had successfully killed him. Then he wouldn't feel like he was about to have a heart attack in front of the Seeker. 

"You were not going to tell me." She whispered. 

Would he have? Probably not. There was a chance she would be Divine. As far as he knew, the Divine was never involved with anyone. Should she be seated on the Sunburst Throne he would've had no choice but to love her from afar. At the very least, it would spare her from having her heart broken. "No. I wasn't."

"Why not?" 

He gave a heavy sigh. She knew the answer as well as he did, but that didn't stop her from asking. "Because I didn't see the point."

He expected her to leave or at least have an angry outburst at his stupidity. But she didn't. She took the bottle from his hand and placed it down beside the leg of the chair before placing her hands on the side of his face tilting his head up to look at her. Her hands were warm on his face and the smile she was giving him filling him with hope. The belief that maybe he had a chance with her. "Then you are more of a fool than I thought." 

Varric could see every emotion in her eyes. She was being sincere. He didn't think it possible that she would return his feelings. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her into him. She leaned just a bit closer allowing him to meet her the rest of the way pressing his lips to hers. It was entirely different from the illusion the demon fabricated. She felt real. It was real. Her lips warm against his, her hands warm against his cheeks. He wished this could last forever. 

But it didn't. Cassandra pulled away first when she realized she was practically sitting in his lap. The setting was not exactly ideal for their position. A decrepit room dark and dank. She would've preferred a more romantic atmosphere, a seeker with the heart of a marshmallow. Who would've thought? But she deserved that much and he would give her the world if he could, but right now all he wanted was her. "Please tell me you're not a demon. Cause I'm still not convinced this is really happening."

She laughed a rare and beautiful laugh. "Do not worry, Varric. Seekers cannot be possessed by demons. We are immune to their temptations."

"There is something very comforting in knowing that I wound up falling for one of the very few humans who can't wake up as a demon." He leaned in to kiss her again only for her to press her fingers to his lips keeping him from reaching her. 

He looked at her worried she was going to change her mind. But she was still smiling. "I'd rather we not continue this here."

"Ah, the flaws of being in love with a romantic." He teased Here I was going to suggest we find a broom closet and you let me have my way with you."

She playfully hit him before running her fingertips down the opening of his shirt. She was shaking her head but her expression was saying otherwise. He grinned. "Do you want me to make that suggestion?"

"Tempting as it is, we should get back. There is much to do before we return to Skyhold. But I expect you to follow through when we return." She pulled herself back allowing Varric to stand up from his seat. He kept his arms around her waist. 

He never thought he'd be so grateful for a demon trying to overtake his body. If it hadn't, there was the likely chance he wouldn't be holding her like this right now. 

He knew she was right. They needed to go back. Hawke would be leaving soon and he should say goodbye. What was she going to say when he told her about this? She probably won't believe him. He'd have to kiss Cassandra in front of her without the Seeker trying to murder him for her to believe him. He might just do that suddenly feeling much bolder with the Seeker in his arms.


	18. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the Grand Necropolis is so fascinating. While I was excited to see the implications that the next game might be in Tevinter, I wish we would get to see Nevarra. The concept of the Mortalitasi reminds me of Ancient Egypt and the tombs of the pyramids.

"Quit fretting, Varric. You are making me nervous." Cassandra swat at the dwarf making him stop his fidgeting as they stared at the city from the deck of the ship.

Making her nervous, she says, he thought as he felt his heart thumping hard against his chest.

The ship docked in the harbors of Nevarra and Varric had never felt more sick to be on land despite his wife's constant assurance that it would all be alright. 

Cassandra never spoke much about the land of her birth, but when she did, rarely was it pleasant. She described growing up in what was essentially a catacomb. The Grand Necropolis filled with well-preserved corpses of the long since passed. 

Varric did not look forward to meeting the Mortalitasi responsible for such rituals. Magic was confusing enough without having to worry about spirits inhabiting the bodies of the deceased. But he had to. For Cassandra. 

She had been eager to return home worrying she may regret never making amends with her uncle. She claimed he was a good man who just didn't understand her. But he took her in when he didn't have to. Kept her fed, cleanly dressed, and to the best of his knowledge, tried to keep her happy. Cassandra supposed she could have had a worse childhood. She should be grateful she had what she did. She guessed, in some ways, she was.

Varric had been asked to come with her on her homecoming journey and as much as he did not want to go, he said yes. Part of it was to keep from the mountain of paperwork piled on his desk, but it was mostly for Cassandra. She wouldn't have asked if she didn't want him with her. 

With the ship docked, they made their exit. Varric had a stale taste in his mouth as he exited behind the Seeker. They took their first step on land since a couple of weeks when they left Kirkwall. The hustle and bustle of the harbor was welcoming.

Cassandra looked content as a wave of nostalgia hit her. The last time she was on the docks she was a girl leaving her home for seeker training. But it remained entirely the same. The same smell of the harbor blending with the scent of the nearby marketplace. A blend of spices and incense.

Varric wasn't sure what to expect from Nevarra. The way Cassandra described it, he thought there would be corpses roaming freely in the city. Perhaps confined to slavery doing tasks most people didn't want to do themselves. But it was far from that. 

The city was quite beautiful as they walked the stone streets. Very lively. Children played in the streets as they did in any other city. He could smell spices as they walked past the marketplace. He wasn't a fan of spices, but Cassandra often had an urging to have food from her homeland. And he complied seeking out merchants that eould deliever goods from Nevarra to Kirkwall. It was costly, but worth it to see her happy.

The city admittedly was darker than even Kirkwall. Most wore dark clothing and the buildings made of dark colored clay or bricks. The lack of color was a bit unnerving and Varric felt he should've wore something other than his red tunic as to not stick out so much. 

"I never saw much of the city when I was a child. My uncle kept me indoors most of the time. The only fresh air I would receive from the herb garden in the Grand Necropolis." Cassandra informed him as though she could tell what he was thinking. 

He simply nodded the knot in his stomach keeping him from answering. 

So maybe Nevarra was not what he expected, but that didn't make him any less nervous. He still needed to meet her uncle. Would he approve? Would it matter? Cassandra wasn't one to let others get in the way of her choices. And they were already married. Still, he didn't want her only family member not to like him. 

But what did he have to worry about? He had managed to charm the Seeker, a woman who previously threatened his well-being with every second breath. Surely he could manage her uncle. 

They reached the Grand Necropolis. The Seeker's mood had drastically begun to change the closer they got to the tall, stone castle. It almost looked like a giant catacomb. He couldn't tell if her nerves were getting the best of her or if she suddenly regretted her decision to come back. He knew she didn’t have many fond memories of home. Any good memories she may have had involved her older brother and with his passing, those happy memories were quickly tainted with despair. 

"So this is where you grew up? Gotta say I always thought you were exaggerating when you described this place. But it's so quiet here. Not even the chirping of birds." Varric felt a chill run up his spine at the silence. He wondered if it was too late for them to opt for staying in a tavern or inn in the nicer part of the city.

"Yes. Though sometimes at night you can hear the moaning of the corpses as the spirits begin to wake them up." she smiled as though that was supposed to provide some sort of comfort. Grabbing his hand, she squeezed it softly. "I know it is not ideal, but I appreciate you doing this with me." And their it was. The reason he did this. He would have done anything to see her smile like that. 

He returned the smile squeezing her hand back. "You know, I thought you were joking years ago when you said you would drag me to Nevarra with you. Should've given me some sort of warning that you were being serious." The started to make their way through the gates. 

She laughed. "I do not joke often, Varric. You know this." 

Vestalus Pentaghast greeted them in the main hall of the Necropolis. He looked well given his age, the only real sign of being elderly the staff he used to walk and his grey hair. He bore the same skin complexion as Cassandra as well as her high cheekbones and eye color. Varric wondered if this was just a trait of the Pentaghast family. He expected he would find out soon enough. Cassandra mentioned the Pentaghast took their family tree very seriously. He awaited the hall of family portraits exhibiting renown members of the family. 

The Necropolis was dark filled by little candle light. The choice of dark tiles and stone did not make it any better. There was little décor in the hall making it feel like they were incased in a tomb. "Cassandra!" The older man greeted is niece. 

Cassandra returned the heartfelt smile meeting her uncle half way into the hall to embrace him. Varric stood awkwardly in place unsure of where to go. He decided on waiting the Seeker to introduce him. He watched as they chatted, Cassandra telling him about her current role of Lady Seeker and him informing her much hadn't changed in the city since her leaving. He made some comment about the length of her hair, which was slightly longer than it was during the course of the Inquisition. Still, it was too short for as woman according the Vestalus. Varric never minded it much even though he had often wondered what the Seeker would have looked like with longer hair. 

"Uncle, this is my husband, Varric Tethras." She finally introduced him. Varric held his breath as the words escaped her lips. 

He was already sure he knew what to expect. Some sort of remark on him being dwarf or being inferior to his niece. It was always hard to stand taller than Cassandra. Not just because she was in fact at least a foot taller than him, but she just radiated such confidence. 

"A pleasure. Cassandra has wrote much about you in her recent letters. A viscount. I expected no less for my niece." He answered with a bow of the head. No sly remark or anything. 

Cassandra gave Varric a smug smile as though she was already certain of what her uncle would say. Vestalus put an arm around Cassandra leading her up the stairs in the hall to show them to their quarters. He informed Cassandra she would be staying in her old room as he weeded out much of her childhood possessions. 

It was strange to be staying in the room Cassandra resided in as a child. Though it was stripped mostly bare said for the bed with an end table beside it, a portrait on the wall a girl and an older boy, he assumed Cassandra and her brother, a large armoire, and a beautifully decorated mirror, it was apparent the room was meant to house a young girl. The bed had a large light pink canopy and white bedding. The armoire white with a small golden music box on top. A few of Cassandra's childhood gowns still inside the armoire. Varric couldn't even imagine how she was stuffed into any of them. He could already see her in the beautiful purple velvet dress, crossed arms and pouting as a handmaid brushed her hair. The thought almost made him laugh out loud. 

Vestalus left them to settle in informing them he would see them downstairs for supper. Varric sat on the bed running his hand over the silk duvet covering the bed. "So, home sweet home?" 

She was distracted by the portrait running her hand over the oil painting reminiscing about the times she had with her brother. "It is so different from how I remember it. And yet the same. I spent so many years longing to leave this place and now it feels like such a relief to be back." She sat beside him on the bed looking at her hands. 

Varric looked at the portrait. Her brother looked so very much like her. Often, he would think about asking her about what he was like. She had admired him so greatly, but she never wanted to talk about him. It was a sensitive topic and Varric was careful not to pry, but his curiosity at times would get the better of him. He wonders if Cassandra would've been a different person had her brother never died. Would she have even become a Seeker? She had said she wanted to hunt dragons alongside her brother. That may have happened and Varric would've never met her. It was bittersweet to think about how the chain of events had affected their lives. He wished she didn't have to suffer such a loss, but at the same time, that loss lead her to him. 

"Probably, because you know you aren't trapped here. Honestly, I might've gone mad here. I couldn't even stand to be in my brother's mansion after the red lyrium plagued it. Maker only knows how you managed years here with the dead and spirits and what not." He took her hand and kissed her cheek. "You know we can leave whenever you want."

"I think I can manage the week as planned. I missed my uncle and I believe he wanted to get to know the man who I did not turn away." 

"Might regret that, Seeker."

"I don't think I will." She smiled.

But she was terribly mistaken and she did in fact regret her decision. Varric and Vestalus took well to each other over dinner. And Varric took the opportunity to get as much information about young Cassandra as he could. Her face flushed as she hid it behind her glass of wine while Vestalus shared several embarrassing stories about her youth making the dwarf burst into fits of laughter several times. For someone who worked so closely with the dead, Vestalus was very sociable.

Cassandra several times had shot a warning glare a Varric trying to get him to stop asking questions, but it was but an empty threat and he would find a way make it up to her later. How could he resist when the stories just kept getting better and better. Cassandra was quite a handful in her youth. Pulling pranks and causing a ruckus in a place that was supposed to be a peaceful resting place for the dead. She would bully the boys Vestalus had thought to arrange her marriage to scaring most of them away and just had been an overall brat. It was unbelievable. While he knew Cassandra was not all poised and proper as she wanted people to believe and he knew she was very rebellious, but to imagine her as such a terror. It was funny. She would never allow these stories to leave these walls. 

As the evening came to a close, Vestalus left them to prepare for another embalming. They returned to Cassandra's room. "Sweet Andraste, I have never felt so embarrassed. Varric, I swear if I find out you told anyone anything about me I will string you upside down from the Gallows." 

He laughed, but he knew she was being serious. "Don’t worry, Sweetheart, I will only tease you about it in private, much like other forms of teasing." The last sentence earning him a slap in the back of the head.

He pulled her onto the bed holding her on top of the comforter. "So the dead….they don't ever wander the place do they?"

"Not usually. The catacombs are beneath us, but they are locked. There have been only a few times in my youth that I remember seeing a corpse up here due to some fool leaving the doorway open."

"Maker's balls, Cassandra, you're not even trying to make me feel better are you?"

"I am telling you the truth. But if comfort is what your looking for then I can protect you." She wrapped her arms around his neck planting a kiss on his forehead. "You will get used to it." 

"Sure. Cause you lived here for years and still never got used to it." Varric rested his head against her's.

"I did. I did not like it, but I got used to it." 

He nuzzled himself into her neck nipping her slightly. Enough to cause her body to tense in his grip. "At least no one will question the moaning." 

She laughed attempting to push him from her at the terrible joke, but it was what she wanted. To create a happy memory in the place she used to call home.


	19. Unattractive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra is only human and I think there are times where she does wishes she was someone else or could change things about herself. Who doesn't do that from time to time?

Sometimes, she hates herself. She wishes for once she could be feminine and beautiful like other women. She watches as the Inquisitor styles her long red curls and as Vivienne dust herself with powder enhancing her already very beautiful facial features. While she sat there in her dirty armor and stained padded shirt from too much wear. 

Rarely on the road, she would undo the braid around her head to tidy it up, but more often than not, she didn't see the point. It would fall over as she fought. Her spiked hair would flatten and appear greasy as the sweat began to fall. If she applied any sort of eyeshadow or liner, it would smudge. Her cheeks would get this ugly bright red as she began to exert herself. 

Lavellan inquired Vivienne for what sort of lipstick she had used as it appeared to last even through the hardest fights. They often did this when they traveled together. Talked about things Cassandra would have never thought to bring up in discussion or cared about. And she would usually be ok talking with whom ever else Lavellan would bring, but Cole had wandered off somewhere. She was grateful though. Cole had the irritating habit of bringing up thoughts she'd rather keep in her head.

Lavellan was slender, large bright eyes, a face of beauty even with the freckles that dusted her cheeks and nose. Of course she attracted a lot of attention. Young looking and beautiful even at her age. Cassandra wonders if she had ever looked like her. 

And Madame de Fer was terrifyingly beautiful. The essence of grace and elegance no matter where they went. Her beauty would brighten even the Fallow Mire. High cheekbones, slanted grey eyes, the perfect skin complextion. Cassandra was certain she never looked like her. 

She wonders how different she would be had she ever tried to be a little feminine. Sure, she loved her romance novels, but she had always had to fit in with the boys. Women may have been able to fight along side men, but that didn't mean many saw them as equals. She always had to prove herself to be just as strong as the men no matter where she went. In Nevarra, no one believed she could succeed as a soldier, her squad members often viewed her as a joke during her training, and people often accussed her of being a concubine for the seekers as she was the only woman for a long time. And so she cut her hair short and wore a tunic often too large for her to cover her feminine curves. Her training had made her more muscular than the average female, but that hadn't shaped her waist too much.

Perhaps, the Iron Bull had the right idea, ridding a woman of her gender to see her as equal. It was absurd and crude to think men could never see a woman as equal less she rid herself of her gender. But as she watched her female companions discuss styling Lavellan's hair, she wonders if she had already done that to herself a long time ago.

\-----

She wonders if she made the right decision. Caving in almost immediately when Jospehine had shown the dresses that the female members of the Inner Circle would wear to the Winter Palace. 

Cassandra hadn't worn a dress since she was a girl with no choice. She swore she would never put on another gown so long as she lived. But staring at her companions, even Sera, as they gazed at the gowns in awe, she wonders if she had limited herself too quickly. 

The gown was quite gorgeous. A cerulean blue to match the sashes the men would wear. It was off the shoulder with a light grey sash being held up by a pin with the sigil of the Inquisiton. Would it be the end of the world for her to look pretty just once? Why could she not be pretty in her armor? 

She brushed her hand over the velvet skirt of the gown as Leliana and Jospehine sourly waited for her argurment to the dress. "Cassie, if you don't want the dress, we have-" Leliana started.

"I will wear it."

"An extra suit-I'm sorry what?"

"I said I will wear it. But I don't want one comment from anyone about it." She stormed out of the room. That ugly red starting in her cheeks. 

\------

She felt horribly uncomfortable. She may as well have been naked in front of everyone. She could not fight the blush on her face the whole time she walked across the floor in her dress as they announced her accompanying the Inquisitor. She could here the nobles whispering "Is that really Lady Pentaghast?" "She has never looked so beautiful." "She lacks grace, but at least she is pretty."

Oh, but she didn't feel pretty. In fact, she hated herself more for trying to be someone she wasn't. She wanted to run. To find her armor and hide until it was time to leave. But she wouldn't damage the Inquisition's reputation like that. She held her head high as she took Leliana's side bowing to Celene as she made it to her presence. 

\-----

It was painful waiting for something to happen. She had found a spot in the hall to keep an eye on things, but she had been catching too much unwanted attention. Several noble men suddenly wished to dance with her and she had decided to stay away from her own companions as they had begun looking at her different in the dress. They gave her compliments they would never have given her before. Why did it have to be different? Was she not the same Cassandra? 

A glass of champagne appeared before her eyes and she took it staring down at the dwarf handing it to her. "You looked like you needed a drink."

"Thank you" she muttered taking a large sip from the glass. 

He stood beside her leaning against the railing of the staircase and she awaited some sort of comment about the dress. "So, you can see everyone come and go from here. Anyone suspicous?"

"Nothing as of yet. I grow tired of everyone's eyes falling on my from this position. I had considered retreating to the gardens for some fresh air."

"If you want to leave, I can stand watch until you come back." He took a sip of his own champagne. 

She couldn't tell if he was simply avoiding the subject of the dress or if he truly cared so much about stopping the Empress' assassination. She placed her hands on her hips feeling the bone of the corset around her waist. "Really?" She questioned not being able to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"What?"

"Not a single comment about the dress? Nobody else has stopped staring at me since I put it on." Why in Thedas did that make her so angry? Varric was the only person who hadn't shown her any special attention since she donned the dress.

He laughed. "And that makes you angry?"

She blushed. Yes. That did make her angry. Her heart fluttered against her chest and she wasn't sure if the lack of breathing was fom the tightly laced corset. "No. It's just the perfect opportunity for you to find something to mock me about." 

"You look uncomfortable enough without my meddling, Seeker. I don't understand why you would do something so completely out of character as this if you knew you would feel uncomfortable. Lavellan mentioned they had one of these atrocities waiting for you should you say no to the dress." He gestured to the red suit he was currently wearing. "Honestly, I'd trade places with you, but I think the height difference might prove problematic." 

A quick smile and chuckle escaped her as she finished the rest of her champagne. She wished she had more as she began to feel the heat rise in her face. "Truthfully, and you can't laugh, I thought...I thought maybe I would feel different if I did."

"Different? Different about what?"

"About myself." She wondered why it was so easy for her to admit this to the dwarf. She had never even discussed her insecurities with Leliana or even Lavellan. Varric had a way with people, but he was always mocking her. And he could be an ass, but a part of her knew he would not knock her down when she already felt so low. "It was foolish to think I would feel any different about myself by changing who I was. I think at some point I'll just have to accept I am not going to be like other women." 

Varric looked at her curiously and she wished he would stop. She was humiliated enough between the stupid dress and confiding in him. "Why would you want to be like everyone else? I mean, no one else is Hero of Orlais, Founder of the Inquisition, or kidnapper of dwarves." 

She laughed of course. He didn't really understand what she meant, but at least he was treating her the same as he always had. She shouldn't be angry with him for that. Wasn't that what she wanted? To be the same Cassandra whether she had been in a dress or armor. 

"Besides, Seeker, the dress isn't what makes you beautiful. It's everything else. Your strong, smart, more capable than anyone I have ever met and usually so confident. Don't let anyone take that from you. Changing yourself isn't a good look for you. You were perfect before." 

He thought she was beautiful? Perfect even. Varric either had incredibly low standards or he thought highly of her. She wasn't sure which one she wanted more as she felt her stomach turn. She placed one hand on the railing to keep her steady because the room had felt like it was spinning. "Are you being serious?"

"Is it so shocking that I think your beautiful? I have eyes, Seeker. Just cause we had a sour start doesn't mean your any less attractive." He raised his glass to her. "You know, if I were you, I'd be offend that Ruffles and Nightingale didn't respect your beauty enough to even have that dress made for you. I'd take some payback."

"Of course you would." Cassandra thought to end it at that, but her curiousity got the better of her. "What sort of payback?" She asked a slight smile across her face as she rested her back against the railing. 

Varric moved a little closer to her. Her skirt brushing against him. "Nothing drastic, but perhaps something to cause a small scandal. Something like a member of Nevarra's royal family being seen in a dalliance with a castless dwarf. " He grabbed her hand turning her to face him. 

This was happening very suddenly. Varric actually thought she was attractive enough that he would want to be involved with her. Why had he never said so earlier? Why wait for her to be going through some sort of life crisis? Perhaps he was waiting for the most opportune moment and this was it. She didn't want to say no, but at the same time "Varric, that could ruin the Inquisition's reputation!" She tried to reason. He grinned at her as she tried to conceal the pink across her face with her other hand. 

"I don't think so. Everyone loves a scandalous love story." He lifted his head toward her and she became very aware of the difference in height. She had never thought she would involve herself with a dwarf before. Most of them were so set in their ways, they would never consider breaking traditions. Varric had said so himself. And yet somehow he found himself attracted to her. Funny how life worked sometimes. 

"Seeker, you're going to have to meet me half way if you want this. I would've grabbed your collar had you been in your armor, but the dress is cut low and somehow I don't think grabbing your cleavage would be appropriate." 

It wouldn't hurt the Inquisition too much she decided as she closed the gap between them welcoming Varric's sudden advances. She felt like the cliche princess in some ridiculous story while in the damned dress. But it was her unique story. A warrior princess in disguise in love with a dwarf. No one could say that wasn't a one of a kind tale.

She broke the kiss very aware of the eyes on them in the hall. A few disappointed noblemen who had been turned down by the Seeker for a dwarf. It was a downright insult. But what did she care about their feelings? Varric thought she was beautiful before this moment. Would they have been attracted to her when she was covered in grime, blood, and sweat? The only answer was absolutely not. 

"Thank you for this, Varric. I needed to hear that." 

"Anytime, Seeker. I don't suppose I can ask you for a dance too?" 

"Haven't we already started enough of a scandal?" She smiled as people began to avert their eyes from them as she began to look around.

"It's not a real dalliance unless I kiss you on the dance floor. And then we can really see the paled look on Ruffles face as she realizes what we're up to. You know, before the rumors go around." He held his hand out to her.

"You are terrible." She giggled as she accepted it allowing him to lead her into the ball room.


	20. Why don't you be the writer

"How do you write as you do, Varric? I can never find the proper words..." 

He knew she was watching him write while picking at whatever passed for dinner these days. It had been a couple of days since they had a decent meal. Living on the scraps of whatever was actually living in the Fallow Mire was starting to become less bearable. 

He tried to keep himself discracted writing little ficlets and short stories with a cheerier atmosphere. He noticed the Seeker would peer at his scribbling from time to time. At first he thought she was seeing if he was writing to his friends, perhaps Hawke. But then he noticed her reactions to things he had written. Silent gasp at something shocking, a smile at a happy ending. He let her silently enjoy his work. 

"You? Write? Really?" He smirked lifting his quil from the paper. 

He noticed her face flush as she looked down to avoid his gaze. "I have often had to describe events in reports. They always come off as-"

"Dry, boring, lifeless, stale?"

"You are an ass." She grimaced as he laughed.

"Just helping you find those words." He continued to laugh until he noticed her embarassment. She hung her head low keeping her gaze on the dancing fire. 

He had been feeling guilter lately mocking the Seeker. Sometimes it felt like she was trying to make ammends only for him to knock her down. 

Varric handed her the quil and parchment he was working on. Not much was written. Only a couple of short paragraphs describing a forest said to be filled with magic and creatures said impossible to exsist. A human thief escaping toward the forest to avoid being captured. 

She looked at the parchment and then at him unsure of what he wanted her to do with it. "Write the next part of the story."

"Me? I can't do that, Varric." 

"Sure you can. I gave you the scene and the character. Write what you think should happen to him next." He pressed the parchemnt closer to her insisting she try. "I won't make fun of you. I promise." 

Cassandra took them from his hand. Her hand hovered over the parchment as she read his writing over several times. It was well written. So descriptive in only a few short sentences. Her writing would seem so inferior in compassion. She bit her bottom lip as she pondered her words carefully. _He needed to get away and he chose to enter the forest. It was cold and dark and he felt unnerved._

She gave up handing the parchmemt back to the dwarf shaking her head. Varric observed the two short sentences she had written. As promised, he did not make fun of her. "It's...a start."

"It is terrible. You do not have to lie, much as you enjoy doing so." 

"No, no. I see what you're trying to say. But let's try this instead: _He had to make a decision. It was a life in prison or entering the forest of legend. With time running out, he made an escape into the forest continuing to run past a length of trees so thick, they covered the night sky. As he ran, the air felt like it began to freeze over. He paused observing his surroundings as a chill ran up his spine causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand up. Something wasn't right with this forest."_

She stared at him in amazement. She had tried to say that with her couple of sentences, but Varrif had painted a picture with the words. She could feel what the character was feeling almost as though she was the character himself. "That. How did you do that?"

He shrugged putting the parchment down beside him. He flexed his fingers relieving the stress from writing. "I don't really know. The words just come naturally I guess. But it's a skill. And like any skill, it took years to hone."

"I wish I had such a skill. To create something from nothing. It is quite beautiful." She muttered. Her eyes narrowing becoming hidden under her dark lashes. 

Varric snickered watching fire dance casting light onto the Seeker's face. "Careful, Seeker. That almost sounded like you admire me." 

Her head shot up and he could see the fire in her eyes, both literally and figuratively. "I most certainly do. Well, not always. Sometimes I wonder how someone like you could create such wonderful tales, but I do admire how you do it." 

He had tried so hard to continue disliking her throughout their travels, but he couldn't. She was no longer the same Seeker he saw before. The woman he had met would never had admitted to admiring him. 

The Seeker had grown on him as well. She was caring, compassionate, and fiercely loyal to those around her. She was largely the reason he stayed with the Inquisition. Sure, he could've left after they cleared the valley, he could've left as soon as Haven was safe, but he stood wanting to see what she would do, what the outcome would be. He stood for her. 

"I could teach you how to write." The words appeared out of no where and Varric wonders why he would make such a suggestion. It is the simplest, most absolute fact, that he wanted more moments like this. Sitting beside the Seeker noticing her for who she was. Where they could talk without screaming, discussing their commonalities rather than their faults. 

She giggled brushing her bangs to the side before resting her elbow on her knee to prop her head up. "That would be like teaching a fish to walk. I doubt you will have the patience for it."

"I'll take that as a challenge." Staring at her as she nervously picked at the skin on finger, he handed her the parchment again. "Write how you think this story, the Inquisition, should end." 

She nervously took it from his hands again putting far too much thought in her words again. He found himself watching her expression as she processed her thoughts. The lines she would get between her eyes, her lips barely moving as she muttered the words silently seeing if they sounded alright together, her eyes buring with the desire to suceed even at such a trivial task. She was beautiful he realized. 

Finally, she scribbled a single sentence across the parchement handing it back to the dwarf. "They lived happily ever after. Simple."

"I know. I couldn't-"

"Sometimes simple is best. I think it's the perfect ending." He smiled at her and as she smiled back, Varric felt his heart skip a beat as realization hit. He was growing past admiration and respect for her. He, as impossible as it seemed, had become infatuated with her. As she continued to gaze into his eyes, he wonders if she felt the same way too.


	21. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! Would you look at that...

She wouldn't say she hated Bianca, no that would involve her knowing the woman much more than she did, but there was a strong dislike for her. It wasn't unusual for her not to place trust in those unfamiliar to her, but the aura surrounding the dwarf was off putting. She was lying and she wasn't sure what exactly she was lying about.

She watched her mingle with Varric. Causally running a hand over his arm or throwing a fake laugh at some poorly timed joke. How a woman could be so desperate for a man's attention was sickening. 

But Varric soaked it in like a sponge. His ego inflating with every laugh, her eyelashes batting his way and a smile just for him. He loved her so much and yet...Cassandra did not see the same love in the eyes of the female dwarf. 

It terrified her to think their love was unrequited, one-sided, and Varric would be the wounded party. She had always known he would never love her even before she had meet the woman whom he named his crossbow for. She had accepted this. Allowing his happiness to please her enabling her to leave her feelings behind. But she sensed this trouble bubbling inside of her believing Bianca to have ill will to Varric. That could not happen. Even if Varric hated her, she would not allow Bianca to break him. 

Bianca had become aware of the Seeker's staring causing a red heat to rise from Cassandra's neck. She tried to avert her eyes drawing her attention to the blade in her lap, but the damage was done. She continued to watched from her peripherals as Bianca inched her way closer to her companion. A hard lump built in her throat as she watched her run her fingers through strands a reddish blonde hair. Cassandra prayed, begged for anything to attack just to end their affections. She closed her eyes trying to still her mind and rid herself of these thoughts. It was just jealousy rearing its ugly head. Making her believe Bianca had intentions of harming the man she loved. She was jealous. That had to be it. 

That damned laugh interrupted her thoughts causing her to look up at the dwarves again. Bianca was inches away from Varric's face and he grinning from ear to ear. She felt as though she had been stricken. A worse pain in her heart than she had ever felt before. It didn't matter that she pushed those feelings to the side. They followed her and she couldn't help the hurt that came with them. Varric would never look at her like that. She was but a monster entering his life under the worst circumstances. He reminded her of this constantly. Poking and prodding at all her flaws. He would never love her and her damned heart knew that but cursed her anyway. 

Bianca knew this and she was staking a claim to what she believed was rightfully hers. Toying with Cassandra, reminding her of what she already knew. Varric was wrapped around her finger. She wouldn't be surprised if he asked her to remain with the Inquisition. Maker, she hoped not. She could only stomach so much of this. 

Dorian and the Inquisitor had returned thankfully ending the flirting between the dwarves. Cassandra quickly excused herself to bed, her companions exchanging confused looks. "You don't want to take first watch?" The Inquisitor questioned. "Are you well?"

"I-it's just, I think the warmth is getting to me." She marched to her tent having to walk past Varric and Bianca to do so. Varric tried to call to her as she past, Bianca giving her a satisfied grin. She could feel the tears welding in her eyes, but she would not give her the pleasure. Cassandra knew they were aware she was lying. There is barely any heat present in the Hinderlands. Still no one pressed, allowing her to retreat to her tent and silently cope with her broken heart. 

\-----

When the truth came out, it was hard to swallow. She had knew Bianca was lying about something, but she had been convinced it was her feelings for Varric. She wished she could be pleased that her instincts had not lead her astray, but the betrayed look in Varric's eyes sent her heart plunging. He had given this woman everything-his love, his secrets, his trust- and she had taken it all for granted, adding to the chaotic state of the world today. It was unforgivable. And still, she felt a little bad for the female dwarf. She had thought she was doing the right thing for the greater good. No one should feel betrayed by the thought they were helping. 

Bianca had left on her own after the ordeal in the Deep Roads. Cassandra was almost convinced Varric would see her to safety. Maybe make amends, but she had been wrong. Varric had let Bianca leave and it left him grief stricken. 

She watched him from their camp. Whatever light and glow he had just days ago completely gone. And it hurt so much more than the pain of her own heart snapping at the thought of having lost Varric to another woman. She was willing to hunt down Bianca herself, demand that she make it up to him, if it meant putting that smile back on his face. 

Dorian and the Inquisitor had already retreated to bed. Cassandra remained on watch despite Varric trying to take the first watch. In the state he was in, they'd be over taken by a couple of wolves in a heartbeat. 

They sat in opposite corners not looking at each other. Cassandra wondered what was going through his mind. She was wondering about things she had over heard about Bianca. What had caused a rift between them putting her in the arms of another man? Did Varric mean so little to her that she was willing to marry someone else? She knew too little of the situation to place judgment, but she was too afraid to ask. Varric had always used her own words against her. Adding salt to her wounds. She was an idiot falling for a man who could wound her so easily without laying a hand on her. 

"What is it?" he suddenly shouted to her. The silent tension growing between them. He knew she was itching to ask something.

Varric's voice startled her. His back remained toward her and yet he felt her thoughts on him. "Bianca....she is married? I thought there was-I thought the two of you-" she fumbled on her words trying to figure out which phrasing would cause less of an argument. 

"As if I care what you thought." The venom in his tone caused her stomach to flip. Fool. Why did you bother?

"I-apologize. I did not mean...I did not think...Ugh, forget it." Turning her back to him once more she could feel the redness building up on her cheeks. Damn she hated this feeling in her heart, her throat, her chest. If there were ever a time she wished she were tranquil, this was it. 

She could hear him stir from behind her, but she dare not look his way again. "No, I'm sorry. I'm taking my anger out on you." He apologized. This whole time, everything that happened between them, and this was the first time he ever apologized to her. "It's complicated, Seeker. Just leave it at that. Sometimes you just fall in love with the wrong person."

Truer words had never been spoken she thought staring up at the starlight sky attempting to forsake her emotions once more.


	22. All Work and No Play

She was always busy. When she wasn't training , she was coordinating troop movements, checking requisitions, lecturing new recruits, or training the Inquisitor. Varric cannot think of a single moment when the Seeker wasn't working. Did she know how to relax?

Watching her zoom through the courtyard for what felt like the tenth time, he knew he had to do something. For her sake and those she had to interact with, the Seeker had to take a day off. Taking one final swig from his pint, he slammed it onto the table thanking Cabot for the drink before running off after Cassandra. 

She headed up the steps to the barracks and Varric hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to climb stairs. The combination of drinking and his short legs made it feel more like he was climbing a mountain. Taking a deep breath, he ignored his unwillingness to climb and proceeded after the Seeker. She was faster than him with her long legs and all. By the time he made it to her side she was halfway across the barracks. 

Cassandra turned to the out of breath dwarf at her side wondering why he had tried so hard to catch up. Varric rarely ever had anything important to tell her and she did not have time for his pestering today. "What is it, dwarf? I am busy."

"Yeah I noticed. You've been back and forth more times than I can count. Aren't you tired?" He answered her. It was best to keep things straight forward with the Seeker. A woman like her never could waste time beating around the bush. 

She seemed puzzled with his observation. He had to understand the importance of her job. Well, it was not all necessary her job, but she was a firm believer of doing things herself if she expected them to be correct. The safety and success of the Inquisition depended on things running smoothly and efficiently. They could not afford mistakes. That being said, she was tired. She was tired of feeling as though the responsibility was hers alone. Tired of running through Skyhold day after day keeping things in check. But what choice did they have. The fate of the world rested on their shoulders. 

Varric studied her face. Judging from the circles under her eyes it had been a couple of days since she had a restful sleep. Probably lying awake worrying about things she had no control over. Her posture was slightly hunch as though her armor was wearing her down. She didn't look great, but Varric was not a stupid man and so he didn't mention it. Instead he gave her a toothy smile. "C'mon, Seeker. Take a break. We assign people to jobs so we don't have one exhausted seeker running around doing everything by herself. If a dragon attacked Skyhold right now you'd collapse with exhaustion. Where would we be then, hm?" He tried to sway her to see reasoning.

"I-I know that, Varric. But there is so much left to do. And after the assassination attempt on Bull, I just can't take any chances." She turned to continue her rounds when Varric grabbed her wrist pulling her back to stop her from leaving. 

"I get it, but one day of rest is good for you. I take it you're not familiar with the term re-lax-a-tion. Four syllables. Means taking a breather. Experts include yours truly and for the small fee of not wanting to punch me in the face, I will be more than happy to help you. What do you say?" Still holding her wrist, he winked hoping she would accept his offer. He didn't know what he would do with her, but he was sure he could find something she would enjoy. He knew she enjoyed reading, but that was about it. The two may no longer hold resentment for each other, but that didn't mean they knew each other very well. 

He saw her face twist with conflict deciding which would be the right choice. He knew part of her knew he was right, but it was arguing with the part of her that knew the importance of her work. She finally sighed. "Perhaps a couple of hours can't hurt. But I should at least inform Cullen to keep an eye on things."

He shook his head dragging her by her hand through the barracks. "One pit stop to Curly's then we stop thinking about work." He agreed bringing her to explain to Cullen his demands that she take a day off. 

Much to her surprise Cullen agreed with the dwarf. He insisted she had done more than enough and she deserved some down time. After reassuring that he could handle things in her absence, Varric led Cassandra out of the office and back onto the barracks. 

The Seeker leaned on the barrack walls. She took a deep relieving breath. It felt good to have the wait lifted off of her shoulders. Knowing she would not be needed for the day. When was the last time that had happened? Not since she was a girl she thought. Something was always needed of her since she left to join the Seekers. A need to help, a need to learn and teach, a need to prove herself. Now she needed to rest, but she was so overworked, overtired she was unsure of how she would do that. 

"Well, Seeker. Enjoy your day off." Varric said just before making his way to leave the barracks. 

"Wait!" She shouted louder than she intended to startling the dwarf. She became embarrassed as he turned to face her wondering what she needed. "You said you would help." She sheepishly informed him keeping her voice several pitches lower. 

Varric recalled him making the suggestion, but he hadn't actually thought she would need his help for something that people just seemed to do naturally. But let's face it, the Inquisition had been ongoing for about a year and there not a day went by when Cassandra wasn't working. Jokes aside, Varric was beginning to realize that it was entirely possible that the Seeker had no idea what it meant to relax. "Uh, yeah I did, didn't I. Well...what do you like to do?"

"Varric, you are already aware that I enjoy my job."

"No,no. Not what I meant. Ok. Um, you like to read right? Why not get a hot bath going and spend some time reading?"

Her face flushed and she looked away. Varric wasn't sure why she was getting embarrassed. It wasn't like he suggested to bath her. 

The realization of his words hit him like a brick. He had offered to help her. And immediately followed with a bath and a book. She took it the wrong way of course because the damn Seeker was so literal. 

Varric threw his hands up in defense. "Ok let me clarify that I was not suggesting I be there when you do that. Just giving you some ideas. You don't actually need me to hold your hand through this do you?"

"No. But being that you are the one who suggested I take a day off, I figured you would have something else for me to do instead. What do you do on your days off?" She countered attempting to make him realize that it was harder than it seemed. 

But her attempt backfired when he smugly answered, "I go to the tavern, play Wicked Grace with friends, drink until I pass out, wake up the next day and repeat. On calmer days, I write stories, read, take a nap. Usually, still do the drinking, but not as heavy as when I'm with friends."

He was only pleased with himself for a short while until Cassandra started to look upset. Frustrated even which was the opposite of what he wanted for her right now. "I don't have many people in my life who wish to spend time with me. And I am a terrible writer." 

"Well, that's what I like. You don't have to like the same things. You like reading. I like writing. Maybe we could work with that. I could write something for you to read." He attempted to cheer her up. It worked, to the best of his knowledge when she graced him with a rare smile. 

"Truly? You'd write a story for me?" She asked not even trying to hide that fact that excited her. The ending of Swords and Shields was everything she could have wanted, but she was sad her favorite story was over. She had read it several times since Varric had given it to her, but it every time felt like the first time all over again. To have Varric write a new story for her would be wonderful. 

"Yeah. Why not? C'mon, Seeker. If I'm gonna write a story just for you, you at least have to buy me a drink." He heard her laugh as she followed him off the barracks.

It was adorable, the way she loved his writing, but if anyone asked he would deny that he felt that way. Watching her from the corners of his eyes, she all but skipped as she walked beside him. He knew so many people who enjoyed his work, but few reacted with such enthusiasm. Not only did it paint a different picture of the Seeker for him, but it did wonders for his ego. 

\-----

Before they knew it, it was well into the evening and they had spent all afternoon and night together. Cassandra was surprisingly good company once you got past her edges. She could be fun if you let her, dry humor and all. Plus he got a smile and a laugh out of her more times than he could count with a few stories about Hawke and her hijinks. 

She tapped her fingers on the rim of her empty wine glass. "It is late." She observed. She avoided making eye contact with the dwarf, a faint pink in her cheeks. He figured it was partly from the drinking, but maybe it was something else as well. "I should thank you I suppose."

He laughed. "When you say it like that, it sounds like you didn’t have a good time on your day off." 

By habit she got flustered when someone misinterpreted her wording believing it her fault for not saying what she meant correctly. "No! I mean, I did enjoy this, but I think-I mean- I am trying to thank you. Why is this so hard?"

"Because you are overthinking. What you mean to say is 'Varric, I had an excellent time today and perhaps I should take your wonderful advice more often.' Does that clear it up for you?" Cassandra smiled shaking her head at his antics, but she agreed. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed this. 

Varric caught her off guard, grabbing her hand off of her glass and bringing it to his lips placing a soft kiss above her knuckles. "I suppose the proper way to end this would be to walk you home… er, forge?" 

It was an unexpected gesture. She hadn't thought of this night as a romantic outing and for Varric to believe so was ridiculous, wasn't it? They had no previous interactions involving feelings of this sort. Was he still trying to be humorous or was he serious? It was so difficult to distinguish the two with him. 

When she didn't reply, Varric worried he overstepped his boundary. He could blame it on the alcohol as it was a conductor for stupid actions, usually ending in someone getting hurt. In this case, that person was him and he waited for Cassandra to punch him for insinuating that this was anything more than just a night with a friend.

He found himself thinking on his words after making fun of Cassandra for the same thing, as he tried to come up with a decent apology for making assumptions. But, he couldn't have predicted what she would do. Feeling her place her callous hands on both sides of his face and bringing her lips to his. It was sudden and ended almost as quickly as it happened. 

When she pulled away, the realization of what just happened was all over her face. Bright red cheeks and wide eyed, it was almost as though she wasn't in control of her own body. She looked down at the wooden floor of the tavern and was back to stuttering. "I-I'm sorry. Was that-I-Sorry." Maker's Breath, she was so cute. This woman would be the death of him. 

"Well…that was unexpected, but not unappreciated." He smiled trying to ease her embarrassment. It didn't do much, but at least she was making eye contact again. "Maybe we should have this discussion when neither one of us is under the influence? You know, for a more honest input on our feelings and maybe not leading into things we might regret." 

"I-yes. You are right. I would like that."

So it wasn't the way he thought he'd be spending his day or even how he thought spending time with Cassandra would be, but he couldn't complain. It wasn't every day you realized you had feelings for a woman who was obviously miles out of your league. 

He watched her from the corner of his eyes as he walked her to her quarters. The blush that had yet to fade, she was looking down, but the smile was still there. Bidding her goodnight as she closed the door to the forge, he walked away with a bigger smile than he thinks he's ever had.


	23. Dorian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters are going to be viewing Cassandra and Varric's relationship from the view of the Inner Circle memebers. 
> 
> Starting with Dorian, because if it wasn't for him and his wonderful comment about their relationship, I would have never realized how adorable they were together.

He doesn't do it on purpose, but he always finds himself in their presence. Watching them pass glances at each other, a warm smile as he bids her good morning handing her her morning tea. He adores it, adores them and their relationship.

He had known there was something between them, a spark, from the time he first met them. How they denied it, embarrassed and angered he would even bring up such preposterous accusation. But immediately after their swift denial, they shared a look. A look that considered it was not exactly farfetched. It was quick, barely noticeable to someone who wasn't paying attention. But he saw and he was indeed paying attention. 

For weeks, months, he watched them share moments of awkward fumbling, flinching at accidental touching, their constant bickering turning into barely recognizable flirting. He loved watching it blossom from 'absolutely not' to 'it's possible'. It was frustrating and wonderful at the same time. Dorian found himself growing impatient waiting for them to discover their feelings for each other. It was there, in front of their faces, but they refused to see it. 

Varric fell first, he thinks. The dwarf was always watching her. Sometimes Dorian would catch him staring at her while she undid her armor. Watching nimble hands swiftly undo the straps revealing the curves underneath. He would stare long enough, eventually snapping free from whatever spell he watch trapped in. Often, he would see Dorian with a mischievous grin stretched across his face. A look knowing that he had been caught. Still, Varric would do what he did best, deflect with humor. "That was record time, Seeker. I think you could beat Tiny in an armor removal contest." He would bury his face down, sitting close enough to the campfire to blame it for the redness in his face.

Cassandra was not immune to cupid's arrow. She was just more discreet. Tucking her hair behind her ears after an exchange that may have gotten too suggestive or sitting very close as he told campfire tales. Her eyes widened with enthusiasm as he spoke every word. Sometimes, it seemed as though his words were for her and her alone. 

It finally came to a full bloom. When it happened, he could not say for certain. Despite having watched them so intently. The mage all but squealed with delight seeing them holding hands in the court yard. Varric whispering sweet nothings causing a giddy smile. They recieved surprised looks from passerbys wondering how the relationship between the Lady Seeker and Storyteller began. But Dorian would never wonder, he saw it bloom from the bud to the flower it was now. And Maker, wasn't it beautiful.

And here they sat beside each other in the main hall. Varric stroking her free hand as she took a sip from her cup. He listened intently as she told him her mundane plans for the day. As time past and Cassandra was needed elsewhere, she placed the cup down, rested her forehead on his, her eyelashes almost dusting his. They share a smile and a kiss before they parted ways. Dorian finds himself smiling as well, happy for the happiness his friends had found.


	24. Leliana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's kind of short. I had a bit of trouble with Leliana's. The idea sounded better in my head I guess.

There is a sudden change in the Seeker. She sees it instantaneously, though she is unsure of when this change took place.   
A few days ago, Cassandra seemed the same woman she always was. The same tough, straightforward, laced up romantic and then, before Leliana's eyes, she wasn't. 

As they stood in the library together sorting through the books ensuring they were all in proper place, Leliana found herself watching Cassandra as she uncharacteristically hums a happy tune. There was a glow on her skin, a light in her eyes, even her dark hair seemed to shine. She recognized the look all too well. A look she feels she may have had in her youth during her travels with the Hero of Fereldan. "You're in love." She states to the Seeker, who jumps at the accusation. 

There is no denial. No, she smiles and continues placing her books on the shelves. Leliana is in shock when she informs her that her and Varric had been seeing each other for some time now. It is a rare thing for things to slip past her, especially in terms of events in Skyhold. She may not have ordered her scouts to obtain gossip, but it was inevitable that they overhear scandalous dealing around the keep. As a player of the Game, Leliana knew how detrimental gossip could be. So for Cassandra to be able to sneak around Skyhold with the dwarf seemed impossible. Someone was bound to have notice a change in the Seeker's behavior. She most of all would have noticed such a thing. But here they were. Cassandra was in love and Leliana had failed to notice. 

Now that she was paying attention, she can see it very clearly. The looks he gives her as she strolls past for a meeting with the Inquisitor, the insistence on traveling together, and as she grows bored with the book she loves so dearly, he writes her another. 

She ask her scouts what they know about this new pairing. They are as shocked as Leliana in learning their Lady Seeker had fallen in love. Her scouts, trained to have an eye for everything, missed something as important as this. Either her and her scouts were losing their touch, or Cassandra was craftier in secrecy than she thought. 

But there is no secrecy as Cassandra shamelessly makes her feelings well known. Sitting with Varric in the halls or spending the nights in his room. 

Part of her feels they may have skipped a few steps towards falling in love. Perhaps because she had never seen them interact without fighting. If they ever had to tell someone how they first met, they were in for quite a surprise. She his kidnapper/interrogator, he her prisoner and many months later they fell in love. 

She laughs. It was actually all very romantic, a tale for the ages, and so very, very Cassandra. 

She watches from the balcony on the rookery as Varric walks with her on the barracks. They aren't speaking, but there is so much in their body language. He loves her and she is happy. 

They fell in love right under her nose and as a smile stretches across her face, she couldn't be happier.


	25. Vivienne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vivienne is strange. I like her and I don't, she seems to mean well and then doesn't. Like in "In Your Heart Shall Burn", if you rescue all the people and she is in your party, it increases her approval, but she never seems to care too much about people. She can be selfish and selfless. She's so complicated and I guess that's why I do like her.

She had to know what she was doing was damaging her reputation. Courting a dwarf in the Winter Palace was unheard of. 

Vivienne watched as Varric attempted to lead Cassandra in a dance, failing miserably due to her being the taller partner by at least a foot. But he tried nonetheless causing laughter from the Seeker. 

She of the royal family of Nevarra being courted by a dwarf. Vivienne watched the concerned faces of the other attendees of the ball as they began muttering gossip right in front of the Seeker. 

_"What is Lady Pentaghast doing?"_

_"A dwarf? Her family must be so ashamed."_

_"Glad she isn't my daughter..."_

Vivienne sipped her wine. Surely Cassandra had to have heard that gossip stated in loud whispers. If she did, it didn't seem to take effect, greatly angering the nobles. The smile did not fade as she chose to ignore them continuing her obvious abomination of a relationship. No shame, no embarrassment, continuing to swoon of Varric's attempts at romance. 

She felt some pleasure knowing that the Seeker had beat them at the game. They sought to knock her down, but she remained unmoved, standing strong by her lover's side unscathed. Varric was unbelievably lucky to have her by his side. 

She remembers this scene all too well. The offending looks as people stared at her in disapproval of her status as the mistress of Bastian. But she had always been a player of the Game and before the end of the night, those very people were eating out of the palm of her hand.

The nobles whispered among each other continuing their disapproving glances at the interracial couple and Vivienne had about all she could take. 

Setting her empty glass down on the table, she glided over to the offending nobles. "Considering how atrocious your attire is this evening, I believe the happy couple is the least offending thing in this room. Perhaps you should check on the latest fashions before you show up to a gathering as important as this, my dears." She gave an approving nod to Cassandra as she left the nobles red at her words. 

What had made the former Grand Enchantress leap at the opportunity to come to their rescue, was a mystery to them as they watched her leave the scene. They were appreciative of it anyway, no matter what her intentions were. 

Vivienne watched as the couple continued their banter and shameless flirting before the Inquisitor interrupted, needing them elsewhere. 

It was a shame to see them break apart in the need of urgency. She had become to see them as a bit of sunshine in this dark time. Though she suspected this wasn't the last she would see of the odd couple's endearing relationship.


	26. Cole

They were loud and it hurt. Heart aching, numb, tears down my face, apology at the tip of my tongue, pride sweeping it away. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

It goes on for days, eventually weeks. Cole listens to their internal struggles as they try to find their apologies. A middle ground. 

They weren't angry at each other or even themselves. It was fear. Fear of the unknown, the uncertainty of what was to come. As the Inquisition was quickly approaching their victory against Corephyus, ultimately saving the world, what was to be the be the fate of their love? 

Cassandra would rebuild the Seekers of Truth or she would become Divine. Either way, she would be torn from her lover's arms for the greater good of the world. She could not turn from either path. 

But Varric was not innocent either. He would return to Kirkwall once this was over. To help rebuild, pay for construction, ease the pain where he could. Part of it was the guilt of being a reason this chaos happened, but it was also out of the need to help others. Cole always like that about him. 

Neither would stray from their path. Too important, they both argued. Was it more important than their love? It was civil at first. Compromise was attempted. Cassandra said they could try and remain together even after their paths took them. Realistically, neither believed that there was hope in that option. 

Bianca had ruined whatever faith Varric had in the success in a distance relationship. And distance was the end of Cassandra's relationship with Galyan. It was doomed to fail. 

There was screaming, objects thrown, storming away from their lover, finally breaking down into tears. But no actual declaration of the end of the relationship.

It was loud. He tried to help going to Varric and explaining Cassandra's heart to him. "Not helping, Kid. Just let it go." He doesn't want to hear it. Can't make him forget. Can't start over. What do I do? How do I help? 

Cassandra was louder. A mess of emotion. Pain from a wound she couldn't see, stinging, burning, aching, make it stop. But Cole couldn't help heal it. 

He brings her a book, Swords and Shields. It's her favorite. He wrote it just for her. She tries to make him leave. "No, Cole. This is not helping." It will. Give it a chance. 

Cole doesn't turn away, instead opening the book to a marked page. _"'The guardsman grips her hands pressing them into his armored chest. Leaning in, he rest his forehead to hers. "Forget all the reasons it won't work and believe in the one reason it will."'_ It's you, Cassandra. You're his reason."

There is doubt, too much of it actually. Too many outcomes, too many things that could go wrong. But there is also one very possible outcome that they didn't see through the fear and doubt. 

The possibility that it could go right. They loved each other. It could work, no, it would work because they loved each other. 

The screaming stops. He forgives her, she forgives him too. Cole doesn't know for certain if bringing them back together was the right thing to do. It could break their hearts in the end. But that was only one of the endless possibilities. Faith needed compassion to believe too...and so he would.


	27. Iron Bull

He normally wasn't one to admit it, but he was jealous. Of the dwarf, no less. He had somehow managed to do the impossible in wooing the Seeker. 

The Iron Bull had tried to catch her eye. Most human women were naturally curious about what it would be like to ride the "Bull". But not the Seeker. Cassandra passed on every advance, though she was more than happy to accept the attention. He didn't mind. She liked the flirting and he liked flirting. It was a mutual thing. She didn't get too much attention for her beauty, not because she was lacking, but more because she was highly respected. People were more likely to compliment her sword arm than her tits.

But Varric knew what he was doing. He wrote her a damn book. And the romantic she is, she loved it. Went straight for the kill, that one.

Sure, he denied it. Claimed it was all the Inquisitor's doing, but Bull saw it. The soft smile he gave her as she sat on her little stool, tucking her hair behind her ears and opened to the first page. The Inquisitor had left, Cassandra was too engrossed in her book to notice the dwarf lingered there a moment too long, but Bull saw it. 

He went on to write more for her. Little short stories about her favorite characters. She would talk about them often, how Varric would write them just for her. It was obvious what he was trying to do to everyone but her. At least until he finally told her.

A helluva woman she was, he thought as she gave the final blow to a high dragon in the Emprise du Lion, cutting out it's jugular as she sat on the back of the dragon's neck. The dragon threw its head back trying to throw her of, but she held strong. 

The dragon lost too much blood, collapsing and allowing Cassandra to leap off of it when she was a safe enough distance rolling as she did so. 

She was covered in blood, bruises and sweat and Bull had never been so attracted to a woman. But he was not the only one he noted as Varric rushed to her side. He wiped the blood away from her lips before giving her a sweet kiss grateful she was alive. She kissed his forehead before getting up to check on the Inquisitor. 

Bull clapped Varric's back as she walked away. "You are a lucky, lucky man."

Normally, he would have disagreed, maybe made some sort of smartass, sarcastic remark. But this time, he smiled as he watched his lover examine the bruise on Lavellan's cheek. "Yeah, I know."


	28. Sera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sera is incredibly difficult to write....

It's not just funny, it's hilarious she thinks as she watches them playfully flirt with each other ahead of the party 

The two of them snogging or whatever. They were different. Too different. He is fun, she isn't. Day and night. Carrots and peaches, blah, blah, blah. He's all games and she's too buttoned up. He must've had to loosen quite a few of those buttons. Probably enjoyed it too. Sera cackles loudly at her dirty joke causing the Inquisitor to raise an eyebrow. She cleared her throat to stop the laughter, but a grin was still stretched across her face. 

What was it like when they told each other? Yelling probably. That's just how they talked, wasn't it? He must've liked the way she yelled at him. Sure Cassandra was pretty to look at, but she was a hard ass. Too much for him. Unless he was into that sorta thing. Yelling in bed. The good yelling. Nope. Not going there. It was one thing to think about what the Seeker looked like naked, but she was going nowhere what Varric looked like. She shivered earning another look from the Inquisitor. 

She watches the two lovebirds stroll ahead. Varric's widdle legs struggling to keep up with the Seeker. Her back must ache from having to bend so low to kiss him. Among other reasons... A small snicker. Suppose he could just get a chair. Then he'd be as tall as her. Or he could climb her like a tree. Nah. Varric was too dense. Cassandra would topple over. Dwarves are smooshy but very heavy. Guessing he's never on top. An arse like him needs a good woman on top anyway. She hisses into another fit of laughter.

"Alright, Sera. Out with it." The Inquisitor orders after having enough of Sera's hysterics. 

"It's them!" She gestures to Varric and Cassandra, who have turned their attention to the elves, as she continues to laugh. "You're funny! With your weird relationship."

"You think our relationship is weird? Why because he is a dwarf and I am human?" Cassandra questioned.

"What? No! Well, partly, but not for the reason you think. Be happy and shite. It's all well and good, but thinking of him trying to mount you is pretty funny. Like a nug mounting a bronto... pffhhh." She giggled. 

"Ugh." Cassandra rolled her eyes, her face a deep red as she continued down the forest path. 

Varric snickered following after her. "Try not to think about it then, Buttercup. I assure you, I'm nothing like a nug."

"Enough, Varric!" Cassandra shouted. Earning more laughter from the blonde elf.


	29. Cullen

She was distracted. That hit shouldn't have landed. Her arm was usually much quicker than that. Cullen dodges her incoming attack with a roll, switching positions with her. Then he sees what had caused her distraction. The dwarf sitting on the steps leading to the castle, writing letters or something of that nature.   
A small smile forms on his lips as Cassandra's demeanor changes. She was free of her distraction and was now focused on their sparring. 

Cullen was not at all surprised finding out about their relationship. It had been a rumor buzzing around since Haven. He had even thought he heard Leliana make a joke of it on the ship from Kirkwall when they would do nothing but argue.

Cassandra makes a strike and Cullen lifts his shield to block it. He realizes the difference in her movements. Dangerous the effect the dwarf had on her if she was holding back this much only by being able to see him. 

Suddenly, he gets an idea. He parrys her next attack, his footing forcing her back into her previous position. 

Varric looks up from his writing giving her a smile. As Cullen predicts, she loses focus and he manages to knock her shield from her hand, his sword pointed at her belly. "I believe that is my win, Cassandra." 

Seekers were exceptionally skilled in comparison to templars. Cullen, despite all his training, had never actually bested her. He laughs as the realization of her defeat sinks in, but she does not say anything. Cassandra was a team player. A loss was a loss. She sheath her sword in good nature accepting the defeat. 

Cullen follows suit. "Though, not a fair victory. Should I worry that you get distracted that easy in Varric's presence? Perhaps the Inquisitor should consider separating you two."

She flushed, stumbling on the retrieval of her shield and causing a chuckles from the Commander. She gathers her things, trying to gather whatever is left of her dignity. "That is not necessary, Cullen. In a real fight, I will be more than capable of handling my personal distractions." 

He was sure, but she had always said sparring as though it was real could be the difference in surviving a real fight or dying. She always gave it her all, even if that meant bruising her sparring partner. A reminder for him to block that spot better, she would say. Oh, how hypocritical of her. 

But he said nothing. He knew a thing or two about being in love. Knew it made you foolish enough to make poor decisions if you were a fool. Cassandra was in love, but she was no fool. She would be able to remain level headed when need be. 

Cullen watched her take a seat beside the dwarf on the steps, staying close to him to allow others to walk past them. He handed her something he had written and she laughed. Distractions aside, it was wonderful seeing her so happy. Being a soldier for so long, it made you cold, scared, unsure of what was to come. She deserved this, deserved to, if for a moment, leave that dark place. And what better way than with the ray of sunshine that was Varric Tethras.


	30. Josephine

She hummed happily as she began her plans for the celebration of the war ending. It was so pleasurable to be planning a happy occasion rather than the demise of the world. There was so much to do; catering, music, inviting guests from all over Thedas. How should they decorate? What would they wear? Should she set up a ceremony for the Inner Circle? Perhaps the Inquisitor could make a speech…

"Varric, you are lying. A creature like that could never exist."

"They can in Orzammar. Trust me, Sweetheart, nuggalopes are very real."

"You have never been to Orzammar, my love."

"No, but I know people who have."

"Then they are liars. Just like you." 

Her head shoots up to gaze at the couple. It was endearing, how peaceful they looked in the gardens. Nowhere to be but here in this moment of pointless conversation. Varric stroked her hair as she leaned into his shoulders reading a book she pulled from the library. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least a bit jealous. The way Varric looked at her, how gently he held her in his arms, how he would go through any lengths to see a smile on her face. Cassandra was incredibly lucky to have found this amidst of the war and fighting. 

Josephine kept up to date on all of the relationships in Skyhold. The Inquisitor and Cullen was her favorite for a while, the Hero of Thedas and her Commander in love. So romantic. Then it was Dorian and the Iron Bull, from different, feuding countries and despite that, they fell in love. But Cassandra and Varric, they were perfection. They hated each other, but fate had forced them together for the stake of the world. And so hate turned to love when the enemies realized the fighting just wasn't worth it when they had a bigger, common enemy to worry about. Oh, it was her favorite story, she swooned. 

Josephine hoped Varric would consider his hand at romance novels now that he had found a love for the ages in his own life. Swords and Shields, for all of Cassandra's praise, was not great. It was as though the author had never truly experienced a love like he was trying to write. In the wise words of several authors, you were to write only what you know. Perhaps his next tale would be as grand as the love he held for Cassandra. 

The Ambassador pulled the parchment she was working on from her clipboard, placing it neatly at her side. She would get back to that later. 

Another celebration would need to be prepared for, even if it hadn't been officially declared as of yet. Peonies decorating the room, rose petals scattered down the hall. Everyone would be there. The event could take place right in Skyhold, where they had found their love for each other. A tailored coat for Varric. Velvet perhaps? With some persuing, she's sure she could convince Cassandra into a white gown. It was to be her wedding day after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Josephine. I romanced her as a male Qunari in one play through because her gold dress reminded me of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. When he twirled her in the air I felt like the hopeless romantic Cassandra is. 
> 
> Blackwall and Solas are all I have left of this little part of my ficlets and let me tell you, it is hard as hell to write them. Blackwall strikes me as very macho, so I don't know if he would have a lot to say on the matter. And Solas pretty much doesn't give a shit about anything that isn't elven or the Fade. Suggestions would be helpful if you have any!


	31. Solas

Solas sweeps a paintbrush neatly and slowly over the wall. The Inquisition's mural just about complete. What was left, only the battle with Corephyus, merely days away. 

He can see Cassandra from where he sits. Varric is with her no doubt, they are often attached at the hip these days, but Cassandra is blocking his view. She holds playing cards in her hand and he can barely make out Varric's mockery of her skills. But there is no malicious, it was in good fun. Gone were the days where the dwarf would poke the Seeker just to rile her up. Had it only been a year? 

Solas gazes around the room, the mural he painted, a reminder of the Inquisitor's path from stepping out of the Fade to where they are now. How far they had come. A wave of sadness hits him as he dips the paintbrush in another color in hopes of completing the mural before...

Varric laughs and it snaps Solas from his thoughts. His hands on her face as she drops the cards in frustration. She hates the game, but she does it because it's something they could do together. Varric chuckles and kisses her. 

A sad smile. The Inquisition had shown him so many things. It proved the world could truly be wonderful if people would only let it. Cruelty, quest for domination, gold and corruption, but...there was also this. A happy moment in time, a place where a dwarf and a human could openly be in love and no one would bat an eye. The Inquisition had become a safe haven for things of that nature. 

He had watched them for some time, never did he think this would be the outcome. To find a common ground so far off where they originally stood. But if anyone deserved such happiness, it was them. Varric who sought to make the world a better place with words and Cassandra who intended to protect those who could not protect themselves. Opposites with the same goal; save the world. Fascinating. 

He finishes the mural just before the explosion. Sighing as he realizes, the time has come to bring this to an end. He would not be around to see where Varric and Cassandra's relationship would take off to, but he wanted to be. He wanted to know their future more than anything, because realistically, the world was going to throw everything it had at them to tear them apart. Would Cassandra's resolve triumph? Would Varric be able to ease angry crowds with words? It was the one story he would never finish. The one story that had given him hope that perhaps he had been wrong about the world. 

He would never see the fate of their love, but he knew their future. He was to be their demise. Tearing down the veil will destroy their races. Elves would regain power and they would be no more. 

He regrets having to make such a decision, watching them give each other a look of worry as the Inquisitor calls them to battle. She waves to Solas indicating it was time to go and leaves them to prepare. He watches Varric hesitate to let her go as she hugs him for what feels like the last time. As Cassandra leaves to prepare for the fight, no longer blocking his view of the dwarf, he can see the pained expression on his face. 

Solas admires his work one final time. Looking at the final additions to it. The outcome he wished for this story. They would beat Corephyus. He gazes at the small painting he did representing their inner circle. The dwarf and Seeker painted as little figures holding hands. They would triumph. And then, Solas would tear down the Veil. He placed his hand on the mural of his friends, the people who for a short while had become like family, welcoming him to their team. He wished he didn't have to...but he did. It was long overdue. Let them have their peace, their love, and when the Dread Wolf took them, may it be within the comfort of each other's arms.


	32. Blackwall

"So, Hero…you and Josephine-"

"No, no you are not getting me into this conversation."

"Oh? Content to pine in silence, gazing at the dear ambassador from afar?"

"Can't we talk about something else? What about you and Cassandra?"

Varric cackles. "What's to talk about? We're happy." He gives a wink as he hurries back to her side.

Of course they were. Cassandra was a remarkable woman and Varric deserved nothing less. He had found himself watching them more often than usual. Varric was quite the romantic. Whether it was all Cassandra's hand or his own ideas, he could not tell. Either way it was obvious he would do anything for her. 

Love suited the Seeker, who had been much less angry as of late, especially with him for his revelations, not that he could even blame her. She made an attempt to speak with him, but it turned awkward resulting in the continuation of uncomfortable silence. He feels Varric played a part in that attempt.

She doesn't say much, but she wears everything in her expressions. She's happy and for a moment it feels like maybe they are changing the world.

Most people would go their whole lives without ever experience even half of what they had. They were lucky and he was a tad bit envious. Varric mocked his infatuation for the Ambassador, but that was all it was meant to be. He would never be half the man Varric was. Josephine deserved better than a washed up criminal. 

Perhaps in the future, things will work out for him as it did for them. Perhaps he could find hope in believing he could find the happiness they had. 

Blackwall gives a small smile as he watches Varric slip a small flower through Cassandra's braid without her knowing. Perhaps even if he never found his own happiness, he could be grateful for theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that it's finally done. Let me just say, I really am not happy with Blackwall's, but it is what it is. I think Josephine's was my favorite out of all of them with Dorian being a close second.


	33. "Can I Kiss You?"

"Can I kiss you?" 

The question startled her causing her to drop her book. It came from nowhere. And from Varric of all people. For a moment, she had to be sure he was talking to her. Looking around, she confirmed they were indeed alone in the library. 

Neither of them were talking to each other. Both wrapped up in whatever they were reading on opposite sides of the space. She sat upright on the chair usually occupied by Dorian, but since he was off somewhere in the Inquisitor's party, she thought she'd keep the spot company. Varric had joined her sometime later, not saying anything. Browsing the shelves he selected a book, before taking his seat on a wooden chair near the bookshelf. 

Part of her wanted to confirm what he had just asked her, but she knew she heard him correctly. What else could those words together have been mistaken for? 

Varric had not looked up from his book, even as her own fell to the floor when she dropped it. He had yet to notice her wide-eyed expression as she searched for some sort of explanation behind his words. Surely, he was not serious? But there was really only one way to find out. 

"Y-yes." She barely recognized her own voice with the response and that startled her more than the initial question. 

She expects him to laugh at her, revealing his cruel joke just so she could punch him in the face. But he doesn't. Instead, he snapped his book closed, placing it on the seat of his chair as he stood up. He didn't look surprised by her answer, nor did he look anywhere near as nervous as she did. 

She couldn't lie to herself, she was not blind to Varric's attractiveness, but there was too much bad history between them for her to ever believe they were compatible. After meeting Bianca, she knew she had little in looks in compared to the female dwarf he was in love with. It further diminished her belief that there could be anything between them in the future. 

At some point while she was starting to doubt if any of this was real, he had made his way to her cupping her chin in his hand and moving toward her. He gently closed the space between them and she felt her chest tighten. 

It was starting to feel very warm, but she couldn't tell if it was just her or the room. Varric broke the kiss soon after, not pulling away from her immediately. He gives her a smile that makes her want to burst. His thumb lightly traces the bottom of her scar as he moves his hand away from her chin. 

He returned to his chair beside the bookshelf picking up his book, resuming where he had left off. Cassandra wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the words. The questions dance around on the tip of her tongue as she fight with her brain with which to ask first. What was that about? Have you thought about that for a long time? Where is this coming from? How can you nonchalantly just go back to reading after that? 

"Cassandra?" He calls to her, by name startling her again. She could count on one hand the number of times he addressed her by her name rather than her title. 

"Yes?" 

"I'd like to kiss you again some other time." This time he made eye contact with her staring at her with the most sincerity she had ever seen in him. He gave her another smile waiting for her answer.

"I-I think I would like that." She smiled back before picking her book up from the floor, finding her last marked page. 

Without another word, they both reading to their reading, but this time, they both wore smiles as they did.


	34. Of Books and Braids

"Damn it!" She shouted as Bull snapped her dislocated shoulder back into place. She scrunched her face trying to keep a brave face, despite the pain. 

Cassandra had taken hits before, but this was her arm, her sword arm nonetheless. A Red Templar, skilled enough to go head to head with her, engaged in combat with her. Their swords clashed with loud sounds of metal scrapping against each other. Every strike she made was blocked by one of his moves. Rare was it that a templar could rival the skills of a seeker. 

He finally gained the upper hand, the red lyrium enhancing his sight, allowing him to learn her moves. He managed to knock the blade from her hand using his shield to break her arm. Cassandra stumbled, but she did not fall. Still holding up her shield she blocked the incoming attacks until the templar fell. Struck in the head by a familiar crossbow bolt. As the templar collapsed to the ground, she could see Varric standing in range with Bianca held aimed in her position. 

The Inquisitor rested the broken arm into a sling urging Cassandra to let it rest properly until they got back to camp. Lavellan may have been a mage, but she was not skilled in healing magic. If Solas or Vivienne were with them, she wouldn't have had to wait until they got to a healer. For the time being, Cassandra was useless. Completely helpless. She chews the inside of her lip doing the best she can to keep from crying. 

They set up a safe spot to camp for the night, despite her protest that they were only a few hours from an Inquisition camp. They all know why she is so eager. Cassandra Pentaghast was helpless and it was killing her. She couldn't move her arm without a bolt of pain shooting through it. If they were attack, there was nothing she could do. "Rest easy, Cassandra. It's just for the night. I can protect us until you get your arm patched up." Bull tries to ease her fears. It does not make her any happier, but it does silence her complaining. 

She stays up, ignoring Lavellan's pleas for her to get rest. Not getting through to her stubbornness, Lavellan throws her hands up in defeat. "Fine. But if you are so insistent on this, then you are taking first watch with Varric."

"What? Why am I being punished?" The dwarf protested. He sighs when Lavellan retreats to her tent without another word, not in the mood for anymore arguing. The Iron Bull chuckles, before heading into his own tent, leaving the Seeker and the dwarf alone for the first time since the table incident. 

Cassandra has a look on her face that could curdle milk and he is still afraid of what she was capable of with or without her sword arm. Varric decides conversation is not in order and opts for proof reading his latest masterpiece. 

He hears Cassandra shuffling, but doesn't dare check what she's up to. So long as she stays on her side of the camp, he had nothing to worry about. But her movement doesn't end and after a few minutes he hears a frustrated sigh. 

Varric looks up from his paperwork, to see the injured Seeker fumbling with the braid that had fallen loose from her head. She must've knocked a pin out causing it to fall over. The hair was bothering her as she was trying to fix it into place with her one good arm. With no success. 

"Seeker, are you-?"

"I am fine. It takes a little longer but-Shit!" She swears. A rare thing, even when she wanted to throttle the dwarf. She had almost managed to pull the braid away from her face and at the very least pin it out of the way, but she miscalculates the placement of the pin and it falls out causing the hair to fall back where it was. 

Oh. He would laugh, if she hadn't looked so fragile and upset. It was a simple thing he thought to ask for help from friends. But he was not her friend, nor was she one to ever ask for help. 

Varric places his paperwork back in his bag before strolling to her spot. He sits in front of her, undoing the pins holding up the rest of the braid. It had been a while since it was taken apart completely. She only ever did so in Skyhold, not wanting to have to keep fixing her hair during travel. "Varric?"

"Just let me help you." He combs his fingers through her hair getting rid of the tangles and smoothing out the pieces of hair. He swiftly re-braids it, quicker and neater than she could and she had been braiding her hair for years. In a matter of seconds, she feels him wrapping the braid in its crown on her head, his face dangerously close to hers. "There." He says after making sure the pins were properly in place. "That should hold until you can do it yourself. Don't beat yourself up, Seeker. We all need help sometimes." He grinned as she didn't move, choosing to continue to look into his eyes. "What is it? Didn't you know dwarves invented braiding hair?"

"They did not, Varric. The elves also do braids." She snaps out of her reverie, feeling the braid around her head, impressed by how smooth and sturdy it felt. "I-thank you. It feels secure. I wish I could see how it looks."

"Don't worry. You look beautiful." He freezes as the words escape his mouth. "I meant 'It'…it looks beautiful." He mentally curses at himself for that slip up as he watches the blood rush to her cheeks and wonders what his own face must look like.

"Y-yes. I am sure. I should…get some rest. The Inquisitor is right. Staying awake will not make my arm heal any quicker. Goodnight, Varric." 

"Goodnight, Seeker…" 

\-----

A knock fell on his door as he adjusted the ugly, bright red jacket in the mirror. Deciding, it wasn't going to look any better he called for his unknown guest to enter. To his surprise, it was Cassandra looking more sheepish than usual.

She actually looked good in the atrocious outfit picked for the Winter Palace. Her long legs kept the color of the jacket from appearing overbearing. He suspected their other human companions also had the fortune of pulling the look off, but maybe not as well as she did. "Seeker, to what do I owe the pleasure?" 

She remained nervously outside the door standing just barely in the doorframe. "I was wondering if…if you would... mind doing my hair for me." She rushes the last few words.

An odd request. Her hair looked like it usually did. Roughly braided, but stable sitting upon her head. She fumbled with her fingers refusing to move into the room despite her question. 

With an outstretched arm, Varric welcomed her into the room pulling the seat from his desk, urging her to have a seat. "You're arm doesn't look broken this time, Seeker. Any particular reason you can't do this yourself?" He felt like an ass for asking that way, but it was strange for Cassandra to ask for help, even for a task as silly as this. 

"I just wanted to…Leliana insisted I do my hair nice for the ball. When you did it, it looked better." She lied and he wondered what her first response was going to be. Just wanted what, Seeker? Did you just want to see me? Nevertheless, he stood in front of her, undoing the mess she had going on of pins and stray hair. 

When it was done she admired herself in his mirror, thanking him for his help. "Sure thing, Seeker. Hoping to catch the eye of some noble at the palace, hm?"

She giggled as she made her way to the door. "Perhaps not a noble…" She added, before shutting the door behind her.

Oh.

\-----

She asked again though he isn't sure why. He's certain she told him, but he must've forgotten after she pressed her lips to his once the final pin was set. It was a long time coming. There had been so much tension between them at some point it went from frustration to sexual frustration. Not that he minded, but when the hell did he start seeing her as anything other than the Seeker? She had become real to him, emotions and feelings and he realized he wanted to effect those feelings in ways other than anger. 

It had been a long time, too embarrassingly long, since he held a woman like this and he doesn't want to let her go even as they break apart momentarily for air. 

But they're in her room and he knows they shouldn't get ahead of themselves. It's still only noon and Harriet and his apprentices were hard at work downstairs. They were exposed here. Anyone could come up the stairs. But, Maker, he doesn't want to let her go as she continues to deepen the kiss. 

She is breathtaking with her cheeks red from breathlessness, her eyes narrowed in a way that sent fire through his body, her hair crowned in a neat braid that he so lovingly did for her. 

"Seeker…you're going to mess up your hair." He pulls away after she pulls him on top of her on her poor excuse for a bed, holding himself up on his arms.

"Surely, you know that isn't really why I asked you here." She all but growls when he pulls away. Her arms are still around his neck and he thinks she is going to pull him back to her, but she waits for a proper explanation. 

"I know, but we shouldn't-not now." And she knows he is right. "Or at least, not here. Meet me in my room in ten minutes?" He adds with a grin pressing his forehead to hers. 

"Five minutes." She counters with a smile. 

"Gotta give me more time than that, Sweetheart. I have little legs." 

\-----

"Teach me how you do it, Varric." She request happy yet again with the way he braided her hair. 

He watches her with a smile as she runs a hand over the even bumps crowned around her head. "Can't do that, Sweetheart. Then you'll leave me. Won't need me to braid your pretty hair anymore."

She laughs as they trade spots, he takes her seat on his desk chair and she sits on his lap. Varric drapes an arm around her to keep her from falling back. "I do not only need you for my hair. I also need you for books, too." She explains unable to contain her laughter as she completed her sentence. 

"Ah books and braids? Do I mean so little to you, my dear." He pokes her side which he is aware is ticklish and she wraps her arms around him keeping him from trying to tickle her any further. 

"Please?" She pleads knowing he wouldn't refuse her when her brown eyes were so wide and her lips fell into a pout. A strength she never knew she had. She tugs the hair tie keeping his hair out of his face.

"Just can't say no to you, can I? Alright, let's see what you've got…"

\-----

Cassandra perfects his method in only a few short days, not to his surprise, but she did not change their routine. No, she still insist Varric braid her hair and she in return would braid two small braids in his that he could tie back into his ponytail.

At first, he didn't like it. He had always avoided being a dwarfy dwarf. And braids in his hair were definitely dwarfy. But Cassandra smiled with pride at her work and every time he ran his hand over the braid, he thought of her. 

It was perfect, especially since soon they would not be in each other's arms every night. She was leaving Skyhold and he would be going home just a few days after. All they would have of each other were the braids they wore and even they would too be undone eventually. 

"It's not forever." She says tying his hair back for what feels like the final time. "I will visit when I can." It's an empty promise and they both know it. She couldn't guarantee her duties wouldn't take her away forever. But he'd take it over anything else.

She wasn't Bianca. There was a loyalty in Cassandra that would never be tested, would never falter, he would never doubt it. Sure, it would still be lonely, not having her by his side every night, but it was nothing he wasn't used to. She would write, she would try to see him, and she would remain only his despite the distant. He, of course, would extend her the same courtesy. He had done so for Bianca, gaining nothing for it. Cassandra deserved no less. In fact, she deserved so much more. 

As she finished wrapping the hair tie, he grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips. "It isn't forever…" He repeats, giving her the same comfort. Maker, he hoped they were right.


	35. Wake Up

He's not dead, but he minus well be and Cassandra cannot handle all of her feelings of guilt and regret.

_It's not your fault_ she keeps getting told, but it is. It has always been her fault that Varric was stuck in this mess. Had she left him in Kirkwall, let him go as she promised he would not be laying in the hospital wing unconscious. The guilt taste so bitter in her mouth as she rest her hands in her lap.

It happened so fast, she didn't have time to make it to him before the Behemoth grabbed him. Varric was already at a disadvantage being surrounded by the Red Lyrium at the Sahrina camp. She knew he didn't like it, but to be so afraid of it as to let it halt his decisions? That surprised her.

The Behemoth smashed him into the cold ground with such force, Cassandra feared he was dead on impact. She rushed at the monster hacking at it with such rage. Her tears stinging her eyes as she extracted her revenge on the creature. When it fell, she hurried to the dwarf's side. Moving the red scarf around his neck, she pressed her ear to his chest listening for a heartbeat. It was there, but slow. He needed medical attention immediately.

The healer in the camp had done what he could, but mentioned Varric needed more attention. They needed to return to Skyhold.

Varric didn't stir the whole way back even on horseback with Cassandra. She held him steady in front of her taking the smoothest course home without disturbing the dwarf too much. The silence unnerved her.

He had been examined in the hospital wing and they were told he may have internal damages. There was nothing more they could do for him. All that was left was to wait.

And so wait she did, day and night, for him to stir, twitch, anything. She sat beside his bed as often as duty would permit. Holding his hands whispering to him urging him to awake.

Several of their friends offered to take over so she could rest, but she was unmoved. She had to tell Varric she was sorry as soon as he woke or this guilt would eat at her forever.

She tried to make conversation with his still form, but she felt awkward knowing he would not answer her. At first, she would keep the conversations mundane. Telling him about the weather or events around Skyhold. "Forgive me, Varric, I am terrible at this." She smiled admitting her lack of skill for conversation. Looking up, she hoped he would be smiling too. A smart remark at the tip of his tongue. Instead, he continued resting in silence. Cassandra frowned feeling tears sting her eyes as she softly rubbed his knuckles.

_Use your adjectives, Seeker. You're doing fine._

A few of days later, she could no longer speak to him without her voice breaking. It was beginning to be too much and she could not hold in her guilt. She blamed herself wishing she had never dragged Varric with her in the first place. If he had been in Kirkwall, he would have been safe. Safe from the Inquisition, from Corephyus, from her. She knew he disliked her and it hurt for she did not necessarily dislike him. "You hate me. I know. I ruined your life."

_I don't hate you, Seeker. Ruined is a strong word. Made it more interesting, I think._

She cursed her slowness at recognizing Varric was in danger. Usually, she would make herself the target. Enemies would focus on her, trying to rid her from the battle. But Behemoths, they were mindless. They go after whatever was closest with no tactic what so ever. She should have killed it first. She should have protected him. Maker, why couldn't it have hit her instead? "I'm so sorry, Varric."

_Don't blame yourself. I'm glad you're safe._

And finally, she just pleaded with him to awake. She would give anything to hear his voice if it was only to insult her. She welcomed his prodding over this horrible silence. "Please...wake up." She begged.

_I will, Seeker. Count on it._


End file.
